walk with me

2007-04-14T14:07:00.000-07:00

It just came to me that a point in my life has come; a point when I just don't see a need to put on a facade that I'm happy with my life when I'm not. Maybe I'm tired of being afraid of people judging me through this blog, whenever I type out something emotional, something that's real, something that's me.

So I'm closing this blog, and moving to someplace where I can be myself, without having to lie, without having to smile when all I need is someone to lean on and cry. Just because I'm afraid of the superficiality of this world, just because I realised some things are best kept to myself.

May this blog serve as a reminder of my many happy memories.

Take care sunshine.

2007-04-10T19:02:00.000-07:00

I remember, there was a time, about 9 years ago on my 7th birthday. It was my first birthday to be spent in school, and I had my hair braided because it was a special day. When I reached the door, Daddy told me to undo my hair and tie a proper ponytail, but I didn't listen, because I just wanted to look pretty on my birthday. So instead of going back into my room, I just walked to the lift. After daddy entered the lift and saw my braids, he gave me my first slap and told me to go back into the house to undo them. For the first time in my life, I felt a heartache that was so unbearable that you would have thought it'd make the loudest crash in the world. But it's silent, and it resounds within you.

That ache seems to come to me, ever so often now.

But it bugs me not because of the heightened work I've to complete in school.
It bugs me not because I hadn't had enough sleep for the past few weeks.
It bugs me not because I lost my ez link card for the first time after topping up my concession.
It bugs me not because I end up having to pay $50.
It bugs me not because I had to travel all the way to pasir ris after school ended at 4.40 alone, only to realise that I needed to bring my ic, which i didnt.
It bugs me not because I've no money left, after paying for everything, for class funds, for the lost card, for my tennis racquet, for the refunds.
It bugs me not because I can't even do one inclined pull up, no matter how hard i train and try.
It bugs me not because my foot sears with pain with every step i take, much less run, and all I want to do is run again.
It bugs me not because I can't go for a checkup, because my mom doesnt believe me when I say my foot hurts.
It bugs me not because some things have never been reciprocated all my life.
It bugs me not because sometimes, I feel as though that I need so much to run elsewhere, alone, to avoid the world's clutches.
It bugs me not because I find myself in tears these days.
It bugs me not because I'm discriminated all my life for the way I look, or my size.
It bugs me not because I find myself loaded with things to be done, yet I find no time for them.
It bugs me not because I find myself always waiting, waiting, only to realise I'm the only one who actually cared.

It bugs me
only because, through all those times, I feel as though I've been running alone.

2007-04-07T02:00:00.001-07:00

Hey sunshine (:
I know this is a massive amount of pictures, and I apologise if I caused your computer to lag. (: Haha.
We had a cg outing today, and we had a really great time. (:
Here's what we did in short:
-headed to meet the rest at hmv
-went to subway
-pool-ed for an hour and a half (that photo's damn right illegal: and i was notified over the p.a system by the guy that went "NO DIGITAL PHOTO TAKING ALLOWED" followed by 50 pairs of eyes in my direction. (: right, I didn't see any "no picture taking" sign, though I should have known better, ahha (:)
-had dinner(some at carl's, rach,py and i went to the food court because fast food wasnt agreeing with our wallets and stomachs. (:)
-decided to head to peninsular plaza to get my tennis racquet
-saw a multitude of gorgeous shoes, no racquets. :(
-headed to funan to get my beautiful wilson racquet that burnt a big fat hole in my wallet.
-headed to the esplanade
-had the greatest supper at haagen dazs (: (more holes, more holes..)
-Roof top. (: where Angel, the candid photographer strutted her stuff. haha.

:D I'd say more another day, for now, i need rest! (:
haha, till then!

Quote of the day: Amos: "WOT eva!" (:

and that's angel, ready to whack some balls.
haha, nooo, not in her sis's bedroom. (:

2007-04-03T09:30:00.000-07:00

Random musings (once more) of this girl:

1. I had my first tennis training session on monday (: let's just say, my love for it wouldnt die off any time soon, for now, i just need to improve on my strokes, keep my eyes on the ball. (:
2. Watermelon juice: 1. tastes great 2. keeps me full 3. healthy (: what's there not to love about it?
3. I've heard Katherine Mcphee's "over it" over 215908193483 times on youtube, i swear it's addictive, or at least to me.
4. I took a pretty long time, after which, i'm done reading my econs notes, which makes me 2 chapters back still, great. (: though, i still love econs.
5. I think Daryl's real sweet and real fun to talk to (:
6. Alot of people has been sick, esp Ryan who's in hospital. Get well soon you all, (: be strong!
7. I missed my banana 5 times today: - yes, it still hurts, babe.
8. Thanks to Chun han, Nan Xiao, Brina and Ben who waited for me after PE just to go home together, how can anybody get sweeter than that? (:
9. I realised that you were the reason I started it all, you were the reason that I had this goal.
10. I love tuesday's timetable.
11. Realised that I'm not going to get much sleep tonight.
12. I think my ligament's cranked up again, and I'm still running.
13. When I think I'm stressed, I'd start to think of others who've other classes that runs into the night, and I think, what's mine?
14. My low blood sugar level's been affecting me these few days, been real giddy, keep losing unconciousness here and there, black and white spots, yet I still refuse to take chocolates.
15. oh hell I'm trying, trying so hard to forget, yet you're always there. - compliments from the influence of wynne; a haiku (japanese poem that goes 5,7,5)

Love, Angel. (:

2007-04-01T08:29:00.000-07:00

random musings of a girl;

2007-03-28T06:15:00.000-07:00

Life has been great for me so far (:
Loving my family, as always. (see the third picture? That's our feet in australia beside a beach! :D)
My friends have been awesome: namely, chunhan, nanxiao, carian, brina, my classmates esp alethea :D, SI TING (:yijie, shuyin, RUSSELL :D, KELVIN (:, Aishah, Ivy, BINGSTER and how can i ever forget, MY BANANANANANANANANANANANANANA SHAZZZZ (who's very happy in sa though we miss each other so) (:
Catching up on studies slowly and surely. (: Studies come first for me in school, straight A's or I won't even get to go for the interview for admission into SMU (: So yes, consistency is key.
PDP (ccas) : Entrepreneurship Club has been great, since it's my passion. (: The people are just so inspiring and I learn so much from meetings. (: and of course, Tennis, something I just signed up, (: sports, at long last!
Other little things: Those cups of watermelon juice, MANGO MAMA, seeing weird reactions from people who've heard my laughter, preu seminar, being a welfare rep (:

don't you just love life? (:

2007-03-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

plagued with a never-ending migraine, resulting with sleeps that lasts for 3quarters of a day.
what if i don't wake up one day?

and banana;
you know that i'd always be here for you babe.
i'd be where you can find me.

2007-03-21T01:32:00.000-07:00

(: there is one way, and only one way to differentiate me and the rest of the "angelina"'s in the world. my MOTOR CAR laughter. :D It drives people mad, but i like! (: i go, " hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha" (: haha, you get the picture? because I do. :D haha, i laughed for like one hour non stop today with chun han, nan xiao, carian they all and after which, my eyes were sore, i don't know why either. (:

Anyway, I'm really sick and tired of my "mini pewny short tiny sailormoon" tj uniform skirt and my "oversized baggy wanna-be-ah lian" tj blouse. oh for the muffin of it. I DID NOT ASK FOR that big a blouse, uncle said that i should wear that size. (ps it's super "hot", i perspire like mad in it) AND I DID NOT ALTER MY BLOODY SAI GREEN SKIRT. My skirt was made to measure, and the stupid uncle measured wrongly and it ended up so short, which I'm VERY uncomfortable in, WHICH is very bad since I like to be comfortable in my own skin. But thank goodness, I'm getting a replacement!!!!! :D YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. please, don't even think I'm crazy for over reacting because Angel DOES NOT look good in a "sailor moon" skirt. (: It's awful to get stares at the people around you, and it kind of puts me down in a tiny way, but in any case, I'm still proud of the way I look, sailormoon or not. (:

Seeing all the soccer girls' blogs and their photos, videos, and thinking about shaz, it kind of makes me want to go join soccer, but it clashes with my e club meetings, and i'm really not soccer material. The only 3 times I played soccer were the same time I skinned my knee from tripping over the ball. ((: you do NOT want Angel to play for Teejay, no you dont.

Anyway, (: Been closer to Chun han, nan xiao, carian, brina lately. (: They're such darlings, haha, and thanks to carian who said my momma is pretty. (:

These few days, I've been missing alot of people, esp the pae2207. Shaz, Aishah, Yu Bing, Wang Jing, Elisse, Elliot, Ajani, Edwin Zhang. You all have been my sunshines, and I love you all, esp Banana and my aishah. Thinking of it makes me sad, yet I'd be strong for you both, you both've got to be strong too alright?

The five of us, will always remain a beautiful memory of mine. I know I've never been one of you girls, and I know I've never been really accepted, but know that if one day, one day alongst the road, you ever need a friend, you know i'm always, always a call away. I love you, but I know its time to let go.

I saw you today, while i was going down the stairs. I didn't want to look into your eyes. I didnt want to see your smile. I didn't want to see you. I tried to hide, I tried to run away. I guess this is the only way, the only way to turn back time.

gymming, running seems like my way of "screaming" these days.

2007-03-17T08:54:00.001-07:00

hey sunshine (:

Daddy was asking me how to enter blogger ( with a not-so-subtle motive of finding how to get to mine, so if you're reading this, HIIIIIIII!!!! (: *waves ). :D

Anyway, blogger's being funny, and so i couldnt add captions for the pictures, but anyway, the woman in the photo's my mum, for all you who have been asking. (: She's so pretty sans makeup, i took a picture of her whilst she drove me to school in the morning. (:

By the way, congratulations to Elliot Chong Aruldoss for being Singapore's Ranked number 2 under 17 squash player (: You've been great and keep striving, we'd always support you! (:

If i had all the time in the world:

1. I'd pick up a sport seriously: tennis/badminton
2. I'd go for dance lessons, ballet? hahhaa. :D
3. I'd learn the violin
4. I'd start sunshine love fund again.
5. I'd go out with my parents everyday.

Looking for: someone to sell me 72 hours in a day. (:

2007-03-16T10:25:00.000-07:00

let's stop all this negativity.
let's stop all this incessant emotion outpours.
let's stop this doubts,
hurts,
pain, aches.

disappointments.

let's stop this lies.
facades.

let's live.
let's live like everyday's the new begining.
what if you coud like everyday anew?

what would you do?

2007-03-16T10:21:00.000-07:00

2007-03-14T23:45:00.000-07:00

This will be PROCLAIMED THE "DID YOU KNOW" POST :D

1) Did you know that I was a ballerina throughout my primary school days? I still love ballet though. :D
2) Did you know that my first ambition was to be an artist, then a miss singapore universe? hahahhaa.
3) Did you know that I love the name Rafael, in fact id be enticed to marry someone with that name. hahahahah.
4) Did you know that Im 1.75m tall? (: I bet you already do.
5) Did you know that I used to be so addicted to the bak chor mee at century square that i ate it for three meals in one day? (: hahaha.
5) Did you know that I've been playing the piano since I was the age of 4? (I'm currently undertaking the performance dip of ABRSM (:)
6) Did you know that I used to be this pinkster, strawberryster, the whole rebonded hair thing, yea, that was me. (: hahahahhahahahahahahahahha, people still taunt me for this.
7) Did you know that I'd be your first friend to have a million at the age of 25?
8) Did you know that the only thing that can make me happy when I'm down is a big cup of freshly squeezed watermelon juice/
9) Did you know that I've had my first "crush" when I was primary 3, I named him "a" (hahah, i know, so what the) (: . He was a warden in my church and I still see him around though I dont even know his name :D
10) Did you know that I was a sprinter? :D haha.

yay, let's do this more often (: haha.

2007-03-10T22:30:00.000-08:00

hey sunshine (:

The storm has passed, and Angel is BACK, stronger and funnier than ever. But before I continue, I'd like to thank these few people:

1) Daddy & Mummy: for that lovely lovely surprise, (: I can't mention it to anyone else, but I'm ever so grateful. But I want you both to know that sometimes, it's not the value, but the thought that means the world to me. I love you both, ever more and I promise that I'd make you both the proud parents of mine.

2) Orientation2group 02/07: Thanks for bringing so much laughter and joy into my life during the orientation to this ogl. (: You all have been great fun, and I'm sure you all will love your time in teejay. Meet up often for lunches together alright? (: And remember to call me if you need any help, anytime, I'd be there. (: S.M.S (private joke, haha)

3) Nic: Thanks for being my support, my strength, my listening ear during the nights I hung on tightly for happiness. Thanks for being there.

4) Shaz: My banana. You've been my pillar of strength, my hope, my happiness. Know that I'd always be here for you, and no matter where we are, we'd still be best of friends and I'd always be your watermelon jooze. I love you so very much, muffin. And everyday I realise how much I love you more.

5) Orexus's Clan master, Aishah: You da woman. (: You've been so strong, and such an inspiration to me and to us all. You've given me the support and strength to carry on in the darkest of my days. I'd always be behind you, all the way. I just want to let you know how much your friendship means to me.

6) Airell: For that smile, it was such a surprise, and I want you to know, that you made me smile too (:

7) Chewy: For being that angel, silently watching over me, and giving me the joy and strength to carry on. (:

8) The people who made an effort to come to orientation each day (especially Aston) : Thanks for being my stronghold, and giving me hope each day to scream my loudest and cheer you guys on. I know it's only a small group of you since the rest didn't bother to come, but know that the presence of each one of you has meant the world to me. (:

9) To the rest of the people who've made my day in one way or another: I don't know where I'd be without you all. :D I love you all.

Orientation.
One word.
One event.
287653 mixed emotions.
3 nights of tears.
315878 disappointments.
3198535 shabuya cheers.
1 soar throat.
128472 honey lemon drinks.
1 clan master.
14587 great new friends.
96 hours.
one event.
one word.
That changed my perspective of my life, and the people around me.
orientation,
rocked.

I'd load the pictures real soon. :D And to you all, the emotional posts below shows that I'm human after all. And as humans, it's alright to be weak at times. There are times when we feel that we're all alone in this world. It's alright to cry, and to let it out. Because you know that only time will make you feel better. But if there's one thing I learnt during this whole debacle within me? If you make an effort to bring happiness to the people around you, only then true happiness in achieved within you. (:

Love you sunshine!

2007-03-08T07:20:00.000-08:00

i need a never-ending supply of watermelon juice.

2007-03-07T04:01:00.000-08:00

It's like being within a sea of people, yet you feel like you're alone.
It's like the feeling of lost and pain only after the person leaves.
It's like cheering as a team, yet you feel like you're shouting.
It's like the feeling of trying to lean on someone, yet everyone walks away.
It's like the hope of you tracing your gaze at my back, yet you barely look my way.
It's like trying to be strong within your presence, only to watch the wind catch my tears.
It's like hugging you for the last time, letting you be carried away by fate.
It's the feeling of you being in my arms, yet you're two million miles away.
It's the yearning of you to come back once more, yet I'm aware of the odds.
It's like loving one softly, yet you're screaming within.
It's like the feeling of compression, compression of sadness, so that I can let you go.

It's like this, It's like that.
It's like today, it's like yesterday, and so will tomorrow.

2007-03-01T04:29:00.000-08:00

I just realised that I've been feeling too much this days, thinking too much, about every little thing that makes up my life. As emotional as it may sound, as different this is to the Angel you all know, this is, afterall, a part of me too. Sometimes, in school, because of certain matters, that highness in me tears apart, and suddenly all i want to do is run away to be alone. But somehow, there's a part of me that years to erase that feeling to remain that sunshine for my friends, because I know that, they might just be feeling the same way too. So, if you ever seeing me drinking my watermelon juice, you know just what's on my mind.

I've been really tied up with work nowadays. There's so much to be done, sleeping at 12am is already a feat.

I suddenly miss all my secondary school friends..
Hiang ling: I miss your laughter, your fun-natured ways, the way you always go out of the way to make us laugh.
Li Fang: your sweetness, your kind-hearted demeanour, I can't seem to forget that smile of yours.
Hui Hoon: for all your laughters with me, for the times you confided in me, for the times you lent a ear, for the times you were strong, you were an inspiration to me.
Shaikha: what can I say girl, those hugs, those tears, those laughters, those smiles, those moments, you'd always be my bestie.
Safirah: I hate vjc, because it has took you away from my arms. Where have you gone? I miss you so, i miss spending my time with you just doing nothing at all. I miss you, my bestie.
Aisyah: your pretty face, and your sweetness and ever-sophistic manner, you'd always be my bestie too.
Kai Wu: your cuteness (: and your ability to say the right words to make my day, you've been that sunshine.
Sham: for your cheerfulness, for your strong will. Thanks my teddy bear, I'd never ever forget you.
And to the rest: I miss you all, Secondary Four Nurture will always have that special place in my heart. Yes, I'm crying now, because all I desire is for us to spend time together again. I love everyone of you.

I can feel myself snapping, breaking apart. I need some time, some time away from all this, and the only person who can save me is myself.

I love you.

2007-02-28T02:07:00.001-08:00

The beautiful chalk drawing on the pavement by an artist in Australia. (:

I miss ballet; really do.

Cousins and our beloved Grandma at our annual family overseas trip (:

Haha, our hamster faces just after waking up in our chartered 5 stars bus to Malaysia. (:

Amidst the dark clouds, you'd always find sunshine.

I'd hold on to you this tight too, and never let go (:

The best drink ever, available only in Australia. (: darn.
haha, yeah right.
At Philip Island, (: I promise this sign is true, penguins are walking everywhere! (:
(: My fat fat fat swollen right foot & ankle.
(: No joke, the size of the cup of orange juice is the same as a normal hash brown packet. And no, it's not a happy meal.

Sorry, just random pictures because I realised a blog without pictures is really boring! (: I just realised some of my other friends read my blog - chun han, HI!! :D It brings me great joy that people actually take time off to read my ridiculously-me blog ( except you can't hear my motor-engine laughter that goes hur-hur-hur-hur-hur-hur-hur-hur-hur-hur-hur, that practically puts the "a" in angelina.

So the stress officially ended today with my physics test, which was pretty managable, and 2.3% retarded. But I had the liberty of enjoying the chilly rain-breeze (messing my hair), which was love, even more than milk and honey.

So, I wanted to change my blog add to milkandhoney.blogspot.com, apparently someone who's gone extinct is hogging the beautiful blog add, and so I thought of using honeyandmilk.blogspot.com, and some OTHER extinct person's hogging the blog add too. PEOPLE, GIVE ME THE BLOG ADD FOR MILK+HONEY=<3

I'm having so much fun in campus, (: though I agree with Yu Bing who stated in her blog that our cg is definitely, absolutely, completly, exhaustively, wholly not conducive for studying. (: Just take a peek at our economics tutorials. But instead of trying to change class to avoid being in the same situation, why not try to encourage the class to be more serious during lessons? (: Though it's a tough feat, nothing's impossible, for even mr impossible says "im possible"

Why do I feel a compelling need to just change the way I look, the way I feel, just to have your attention? Am I, the way I am now, not good enough? Or do I have to change, just to spare a few minutes of your day, just to see you smile at my direction, for you to say my name, for you to show that you actually know of my existence? Every minute of the day, you invade my thoughts, you crease my memory, you inflict the smallest tear in me, and you make me lose consciousness of my surroundings. Maybe that day shouldn't have came, maybe it was best I never known you to begin with. This bittersweet pain's only consolation my second heaven in your sight. 8 months more, all I have in this world. Won't you take a second look at me?

Or can't you see that you're tearing me apart?

Or do I have to walk away, silently.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzG7WZyhE-A&mode=related&search =

(Zhuan shu tian shi - Tank)

Have a lovely week ahead, sunshine. (:

2007-02-23T07:10:00.000-08:00

bring sexy back.

So, mugging for four nights till the morning, getting busy for approximately 22 hours a day, ended up with a really sick girl who has incessant pounding migraines who throws up, alot. And; she misses the test that she got sick for. kanikusai, I've to study all over again because I happened to "throw up" all the knowledge I had on the test.

So, she thinks that after saturday, the competition is done, the ball is done, the test is done, this is done, that is done, and she can have a great time on sunday sleeping her seconds, minutes, HOURS away. (: nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, apparently, I've to restudy for physics, do my maths tutorials (note the plural form), prep for Pre-U Seminar proposal that has a dateline that's on NEXT THURSDAY. I forsee the next week of sleepless nights.

I seriously need to focus on my studies again. I'm not saying I'm falling off, maybeI am, but not too off. I just need to prioritise, and since my main aim in JC is to get my 4A's to park my butt in SMU's faculty of business, I've to put in more hours and effort into my studies. (: Makes sense right? Haha.

The first intakers' party was great! (: Bryan's bands (he has two (:) was hot to trott, and I even got people around me grooving, like Joshua who dances pretty well I might add (:. I carried carian, who banged my chin when she got up, THREE times. (: I had so much fun dancing with the ladies, playing and teasing michelle with "whu who whu hu" (: I might just change my decision to never step into a club. Perhaps I might, probably when I'm legal, and more sane. (: Not claiming that I'm currently insane, but i'm still immatured, meaning that I'm still emotional. At times, my heart comes before my mind. Hah, you get my ball. For now, studies, and getting my act together is first. (:

My new found friend is Carian. (: We get along damn well, it's just the indescribable chemistry between us. (: Hopefully, we'd even end up being best Jc friends! (: hahaha.

I saw him today again, but somehow, I feel myself getting more and more detached from him. Is the limitations of my admiration for him starting to take a toll on my fondness for him?

Thanks for the past 5 years and for giving me the strength to finally let go of you and our friendship.

bring sexy back.

2007-02-20T01:36:00.000-08:00

Would you be the one who'd let me be your sunshine?
Would you be the one who'd lend me your shoulder when I feel like crying?
Would you dance with me in the rain, not caring about a soul in this world?
Would you watch millions of sunrises and sunsets with me?
Would you let me blast the happy birthday song into your ear at 12 midnight on your birthday?
Would you pick up the phone at 3a.m. in the morning if I called you?
Would you go running around Singapore at 4a.m. in the morning with me?
Would you spend hours on the beach with me, playing?
Would you be there at my piano recitals?
Would you be there when I need someone to be my inspiration when I write a song?
Would you be there to eat all the cookies I bake?
Would you be there by my side when I fall ill?
Would you be there when I need someone?

Would you be my friend?
Because I would do all that for you as your friend.
I'd spend hours under a saga seed tree to pick saga seeds just to let you know how much I love you.
I'd try to make that perfect waffle for you just because you say you've been craving for it.
I'd pick up your call any minute of the day, even if it's just to hear you say that you've had a crummy day.
I'd scream with you at the top of a building.
I'd cry with you when you're down.
I'd be the first person to jump up and down like a little child with sweets when I hear your joys.
I'd let you rant on me just because you're angry.

I just realised, I need a friend at this point of my life, to carry me on.
I'm losing strength, and I need someone.
Would you be that someone?

2007-02-19T08:09:00.000-08:00

Call me bimbo, sunshine. What's not to love about (not the whole group, kill me, but they can't sing for muffins) wu zhun, and probably jiro? :D (third from the left, second from the left)

2007-02-15T04:53:00.000-08:00

Pei yen, Ivy, EI, Angel, Aishah, Elisse, Yi min, Max, Wynne (:

I know this is quite late a post, but here goes (: The super-on 10 of us came for the Cg outing at Sentosa. I had a blast of a time learning that Pei yen hates anything that's liquefied, shouting together with shaz and the rest when seaweed's around, hankering for the soccer ball so i can float because I can't use my feet to tread water (just in case you have dementia, I tore my ligament on my right foot during my orientation this year (: ), drowning doritos in aqueous sodium hydroxide, talking to yi min in the sea with rain overhead of us, watching them sand aishah and wynne. hahah. (: I love them all.

Max, Angel (yes, I know I'm so much darker now, haha), Elisse, Yimin, Aishah, Pei yen, Ivy (:
On the way to the luge! Beautiful aishah helped us get the tickets for half price because she's a staff (: The cashier was really pretty. It's so synical and retarded that I'm afraid of heights because I'm tall, but, hahahahaha, when our "bench" when up, I had goosebumps; Popping raised goosebumps. I went so slow at first, at a speed of like 0.000001Km/h, but finally stirred up the courage to go faster at around 1km/h, quite a big improvement eh? haha. Had a really good time though I was really tired when I went back home, with horrible tan lines because I didn't take off my shirt. hahahahhaa.

Just points for me to note;
Things I'm caught up with:
1) NTU ZTM competition
2) OGL
3) Physics test
4) Econs test
5) Get darius's present
6) Get leggings for his ball
7) PreU Seminar second round of auditions

As much as I can try to hide the fact that valentine's day can make the single a little bitter, or rather extremely bitter, the statement remains true. Everywhere you turn in school, you see people holding silver foiled plastic that unravels roses, sunflowers, gerberras. Not like anyone would complain receiving them, but, the mentality that the number of flowers you get is equivalent to how much you're being loved is utter hokum. I know you don't get what I'm saying, because I don't too. (:

Smart me, dancing mass dance with a recuperating foot, as you may have guessed, I cranked it again. Hurts like 238592857298573 muffins thrown in your you-know-where with every step I take. (:

You know how everyone's so excited to go visit their secondary school tomorrow? Suddenly, I don't have the urge to go anymore, some things are just changing and yes, it does hurt.

:D DDAAAADDDDDDYYYY'SSS COMMMMIINNNNGGGG HHHOOOMMMEEEEEE

Love, Angelina.

2007-02-14T04:00:00.000-08:00

HAPPY "GET LOTS OF CHOCOLATES AND SWEETS AND GET FAT" DAY; or for the whiteshirters, it means happy valentine's day, my sunshine! (:

(: Today was a horribly exhausting day, though something made me extreemly happy, and I'm not saying. (: Let's just say I'm crossing my fingers hard.

I'd blog more some other day, I need to get back to mathematical induction. (:

Daddy, I miss you, and I hope you come back soon safely. (: Remember to bring me snow in a glass jar, I don't care if it's melted. (: I love you and happy valentine's!

Loving you. (:

2007-02-09T06:28:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty tired, and I can say that I'm content with the results I've gotten, but I believe I could have done so much better. (: In any case, for all you inquisitive little sunshines, i've gotten an L1R5 of 9, 6 distinctions. Not ecstatic in any way, but just appreciative that I maintained my standard. (:

Today, I was called down to the board room to meet the principal and vice principal regarding the GIC-TJC scholarship. I was extremely nervous initially because I thought that it was a second interview. However, I was told that the 9 of us made it, and were provisional scholars of TJC, out of a whole montlycrew of applicants. (: However, I can't stay on because I didn't get a score of 8 and better but I'm content being in the equally prestigous mazarine programme. (:

Congratulations to all the sixer's, sevener's, eighter's and so on. (: It doesnt really matter what other people get, sunshine, just make sure that you feel that you've beaten yourself in this race. (: For me, you can say that yes, when I look around, and hear people cry because they've perfect scores, I can't deny that I do get affected, but at the end of the day, I look at my results, and I say, hey, I thank God for what he has blessed me with and not the things I've not received. (:

So yes, hahaha, this is the most boring post you'd read of an o level candidate. :D I'm going to start pia-ing my econs, physics, maths, geog. wait, that's everything right? Hahahahaha. (: I'm going to prove to myself that a niner can do just as well as a sixer, if not better. (: All the best to me in this new race that has just begun!

By the way, I just realised today that caroline and hl reads my blog, hahaha, HIIIIIII :D

Take care love, and have a great weekend! (:

2007-02-06T06:20:00.000-08:00

Hi sunshine, I've had two thousand things on my mind prior to writing this. I'm hoping I'm left with none when I'm finished with this. So if you really have nothing else more important to do besides spending your time reading this super !#(*#%(*$% post and judging me for what I've wrote, maybe you'd like to click the "x" button, and do 2000 push-ups or something. (:

Firstly, daddy always told me that getting involved in two million (pardon the hyperbole) activites at once is akin to not participating at all, because what are the chance of you excelling in everyone of them? You'd just feel like you're overdoing, over-participating, and you're left exhausted and exasperated. And there's so much truth in his words of wisdom. I've the GIC-scholarship interview, OGL auditions, pre-U Seminar interview, being in charge of the E club J1's project for V-day, SMU's service project, preparations for Sir Munchkin's Temasek Idol Auditions, preparation for taking my performance diploma in piano and the list goes on. There's a limit to "taking every opportunity and making good use of them", true enough. I'm truly exhausted at this point in time, especially with all the upcoming tests and topics to conquer. The only time I can be focussed with one thing is when I need to go to the toilet. (: hahahhahaha. Being busy with all this, however, I find it easier to be contented with happiness I receive. I find little actions of love, laughter, and little thoughts to have the utmost power to make my day. However busy I am though, I don't see the reason to voice out all my activites to other people. It's hardly going to serve any purpose and it only makes me seem like I'm actually shoving my other responsibilities just because of the excuse "I'm busy with other work" which I used so commonly when I was younger. We're all on the same platform when it comes to doing work, and Shaikha, my best friend, and I, have an urge to kill anyone in our path who uses that excuse. (: Anyway, this is where time management comes in, and I'm slowly altering my discipline level because there's so much more demanded of you in JC life. Busy as I am, I still find fun in all that I do. (: I mean, what's life for if you don't?

Secondly, results are coming out on friday. Astoundingly as it seems, I don't feel an urge to be nervous at all. No, it's not that I'm confident, it's just that the mentality of "what's done is done" is embedded in me and I won't try to convince anyone "not to worry" because, we are, after all, humans. (: This may sound a little crazy, but I'm starting to feel attached to this place, I reckon I'd be staying here, that's if, my results allow me to. However, during physics lesson, I suddenly felt compelled to go to poly and I thought about it. True enough, these two years of curriculum serves, basically, no purpose in my future goal, besides showing my future employers that I meet the benchmark required to be labelled as "employable". The friends who know me well will know that I'm definitely a poly girl by heart since I'm so head-on in my ambition of being a successful businesswoman. The years in poly will not only give me a headstart, but also give me the experiences and exposure needed to have an edge in the future. Hahaha, but hey, I can always be a jc girl by status and a poly girl at heart. :D

You know how sometimes, you're wondering where a person might be, or just having a random thought about a person, and suddenly, they appear right in front of your very eyes? (: It's happening to me oh-so-frequently nowadays.

Alright, my eyes are really strained and all I want to do is sleep when I really have to go and do my work for tomorrow. (: Take care sunshine.

2007-01-30T07:25:00.000-08:00

raahhh (:

So I had the worst migraine ever today, head pounding like mad, not made any better by incessant bobby and jordan jokes. (:

For those of you who are nonplussed by the excessive jokes made about bobby and jordan, noooo, they are not, by any chance, a figment of your imagination. (: They are living on, oh well, in our hearts. Guffaws.

So, I was being encouraged today by Elliot, my cg rep, to start exercising. (: I didn't get a chance to reply, because I don't come across such very straightforward people in my life, so yes, my reply is that I'd love to, in fact, before this fateful accident, I used to gym 3 times weekly for 2 hours or more. Unfortunately, with my torn ligament, and affected tendon, I don't think I can think of exercising in the mean time. (: So there. And by the way, Bing and I have started to plan for our healthy living regime, she does not have to slim down, I tell you, but hahahaha, girls are girls. In my case, I just need a munch of fresh food, and by the way, my plans of keeping fit, is for my own cause solely. I don't do it for boys, for attraction purposes, that's just plain *!#*%(#%$^#&%.

We started the Angel and Mortal game today prior to Valentine's Day ala Friendship Day. (: Apparently, I search my mortal on the student directory and I found out that he's from hockey. Ivy will be pleased to know that, because she thinks hockey guys are hot. (: Apparently, call me weird, but I do not, unlike the 99.99999999999% of the population of girls, go for hot guys. I, however, think that handsome guys have more reason to gloat, or most of the times, (this is just a fallacy, a sweeping statement, but it's my blog, right? (: hahahahahahhahaah) just be uncouth and ungentlemanly. However, I do know of handsome lads who brinks of gentlemanly mannerism. Such as, Russell, my godbrother, my father and the list goes on, but not far off.

How's jc life so far? I would say, fanatically fun, filled with excitement, and even though some people might just ruin your time, turn a deaf ear (i mean TOTALLY deaf) and look straight past them, walk past and have a ball of a time making bobby and jordan jokes. I reckon, ben&jerry should move aside. We want bobby&jordan!!!!! Haha, I just realised they're both b&j. (:

By the way, Aston, I think you are extremely adorable, and you're a great and responsible person. (: I'd vote you second after Bobby to be president. hahahhaa.

Have a great day tomorrow, sunshine!

2007-01-24T01:14:00.000-08:00

I had no idea farid stay so near to me. (: That's a lovely surprise; then we can study together whenever the occasion calls for it.

In any case, regarding the whole drama-rama fiasco; It's over, because it was all a misunderstanding. (: Tsk, don't roll your eyes, I'm a human, after all, ain't I? :D Maybe, it's time to focus on being friends first; getting back to basics.

I'm really really tired, and I'm wasting my time away at times even though I do do my work. I feel like I'm lagging behind at times. I seriously need to buck up. In any case, I'm so tired, and I think I'm going to ring shaikha and go grab a bath and start mugging once more.

Bite me, but I hate people who don't follow given datelines and timelines. (:
Have a lovely day ahead.

2007-01-22T02:08:00.000-08:00

If you haven't realise, I'm currently in a sequel of dramatic events following a series of undefinable moments that ended something that wasn't even there to begin with;
or to say it in simpler terms, I'm going through a heartbreak. No, I didn't go through a breakup, you over-generalizer. I've had a break-in into my heart.

So, I've been trying to pack my days with events, assignments, over-flowing redundant things to do. One simple reason, so I'd have no time to think of you even if I wanted to. It has been working, until you walk right into my sight. Once again, you mess up my concentration, focus, determination to wipe you out of my memory. You sit, fortunately, at the other end of the world, whilst I, fortunately, had to attend the next lecture already. You can say that I was a little reluctant to let you out of my sight, but with a little strength and determination, nothing is impossible, my friends.

You don't have to make it so obvious that you find it so difficult to look into my eyes anymore, because neither can I. Plainly because this whole fiasco is junk, I don't even get the motive of your actions; whether you're on either side of the poles. In any case, you end up hurting the !%(*!#%*!#%&!*#$&!*#&$!# out of me without even intending too, so in this case, it's not your fault.

One day down, 13857193857932857928 more days to go.
Thanks alot, mr oh-so-charming one.

P.S I apologise for the ever-so-emotion-filled posts these days. Stuff happens.

2007-01-21T02:10:00.000-08:00

Let's just get past the emotional side of me today and shove him aside, because I'm a tad too tired to repeat what I've been feeling inside; Nothing's going to change for the moment. (:

Today was a "pretty" day (: You know how some days are "pretty" days, and how some days are "ugly" days. :D - today was the former, and happiness came along despite that one moment where you crept into my thoughts once again. So I woke up early to head to church decked in a white mango long sleeved basic and cropped "tweed" pants, with my tiffany& co crucifix, diamond studs, and I pinned up my hair at a side. (: Simple, and classic.

These two days can be considered rather unproductive, but I've tonight to chiong. :D

To do list:
1) Print out geog stats
2) Finish up geog question
3) Print out passport photo for scholarship application
4) Start on draft for scholarship essay
5) Fill in the necessary details
6) Photocopy all testimonials;records;certs
7) Fix out roles for english fair project; DEFINITIONS
---------------------------------------
8) Redo Maths tutorial 2
9) Check answers for tutorial 3
10) Physics tutorials
11) Thermal Physics Notes
12) Econs tutorials
13) Revise for Econs test

hahahahahah, great.
I'm officially stressed.
rawr.
I'd have less time to think about you. (:

Have a lovely week ahead, I won't have time to update for this week already (:
May sunshine be with you and beyond.

2007-01-20T05:40:00.000-08:00

You'd probably never ever going to see this, but it doesn't really matter.
Because you, have driven me to a point of no return;
And writing this might not have a single effect on you, but it might make me feel lighter.

To you;
From the moment you placed your arms around me, you've taken a toll on my life. Suddenly, all I ever did was consisting of incessant train of thoughts of you. Whether it was your voice, your touch, your gaze. You have the right to call me silly, because no one has ever had such an effect in my life before. And knowing that from now on, I've to let you go because I know that I don't own you, hurts. Much more than a someone twisting back my ankle over again.

It's because everytime I see you around, I've to wear a mask, like I don't care. Or to avoid your gaze, and to stare at you from the corner of my eye. It's so difficult to smile at you like everything's normal, because I know it's not. It's as if a smile could bring false hopes to me. I'm nonplussed; you've made me think we could actually start something beautiful together, and the next moment, that all you want to do is to push me out of your life. This might sound too aggressive, but please tell me what you want out of me. If you never ever want to get too close to me, then just be my friend, but don't push me out, don't push me.

I'd never know why your friend did what he did, or what exactly happened that fateful moment, but the knowledge of the true reason doesn't matter now, anyway. But you can be assured that for that moment, you provided me with the reason to fly, and to fall back down to Earth again, in the same second.

But you'd probably be rest assured that with every presence you give in campus, just remember that someone is trying her best not to hear that shrill sharp noise an ache sounds. I'd run away from you, if it helps; I can't look at you anymore, or rather, i don't have the courage too. Everytime I get through a day feeling strong like I've the strength to let you go, one gaze from you can bring me back to reality.

I'm sorry for being like this, or for causing you disappointment, or for being a burden, or for being too clingy. I'm not sure what I've been to you, but at least I hope, I gave you happiness while it lasted.

I can't say I'd stop liking you, because I won't. You'd still be that silly perfect person I'd compare (evilly) to every other guy; because you really are perfect, to me.

To you, I like you, and I promise I'd let you know some day.

2007-01-17T06:03:00.000-08:00

hey you, yes you, what's your name? (:
You've probably never given much thought to it, but your name might be starkly embossed in someone's mind; Someone out there.

Tj student life with CG 22/07 is exhilarating, mind-blowing and every moment spent with everyone of them makes me love them even more. Oh keep all the incessant negativity and splosh statements like : " it's only the first few weeks what....". (: I'm the welfare rep and my duty is to love and serve.

I've been really tired these few days, and mummy added a comment on how she realised I've been really "unlucky" this year. Prior to this post, I accidentally cut my wrist against a switch whilst limping down the stairs. Yet again, smart me. The whole comaraderie will think I'm some self-degression girl who cuts herself. :D hahaha, probably should play the helicopter cut prank again.

Some pointers for thy self:
1) Maths: REDO gp worksheet again; read sigma
2) Physics: Finish tutorials; Read Thermal Physics
3) Econs: Tutorials
4) Geog: Read, read, read, read, read.

It's only FOUR subs, and it feels like 50000. :D Bite me, come on, i must be dreaming.

In any case, the phrase of the week is.

(drum rolls please)
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..
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.
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..
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..
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IN ANY CASE haha (: yes! Use it daily! :D
You start like, In any case, I'm going to eat lunch now.
In any case, GP's terrible and it sucks my brains out.
Try to be adventurous and use 2 at once. (:
For example,
In any case, Physics is NOT, in any case, meant to be difficult.

Man i love to make you roll your eyes. :D

OH BEE WAN - you. yes you. who's never ever going to read this. look here. it doesnt help that i always stare with glistening vision to find your silhouette, your back so i can get a glimsp of you. and when i do, i turn away. because i know i'd never have you. (:

oh yes, I love you.
Iced milk tea.
hahahahahahha, got you, didnt i?
In any case, yes, for you gossiplovers, I do have a person in mind who makes me smitten with blindness and pure childlike happiness; much akin to taking a 3 yr old to a candy shop. And yes, most of the time, you know the ending, the 3 yr old never gets what they always want.

Because as an economist would state. Choices have to be made due to limited resources. There's such thing as opportunity cost and for you, it's my world. (:
That said, it means economists would reckon that you be with some other one who has a lower opportunity cost for you.
In any case, this case study proves that it's kind of stupid. (: Though it's one of the fundamentals; oh well, i just found out something about you today that just added 3nm to our already broadened gap. Dont ask, people. Some things are meant to be kept a secret. (:

In any case, I've to log off to start toiling, with great effort. (: because my eyes are closing.

May sunshine be with you (:

2007-01-12T20:24:00.000-08:00

oh my muffins.

The comp hanged on me, deleted a super post that I took 2 hours to type out.

smart me.
smart comp.
:D

2007-01-09T01:15:00.000-08:00

Rant, rave, splash, splosh, blobs.

It's utterly sickening to be stranded and strapped to a chair/sofa/surface for an extensive long period of time. And my hair has been really itchy these few days despite my incessant washing.

I miss Temasek Secondary School, my beloved Four Nurture, my friends, my teachers, the familiarity, the warm feeling I get whenever I step into the school; My school.
I miss especially, my best girl friends, Shaikha, Safirah, Aisyah and Hidayah.

This is us during !smash'd 18 February 2006. That's (from the left) Me, Shaikha, Safirah, Hannah, Aisyah, Hidayah.Yes, I know I look tall, hahaha. I look like a giant. Check out my self-designed mohawk. :D And please pardon the little exposure.

So all I can really do now, is just try and read up my lecture notes as much as possible. I've only got physics on hand currently, so I'm just trying to comprehend whatever I can. Since I've been blessed with my perfect subject combination : H2 maths, h2 physics, h2 economics, h2 geography, It's time to focus and strive for my ultimate goal- a place in the school of business management in Singapore Management University in 2009.

Apparently, I'm having a headache in choosing my pdp, Tjc's slang for "cca", I've decided on sports, but I'm not too sure which one to pick. I guess I might just choose volley, basketball or netball, badminton. In any case, tomorrow's registration and I better make my decision soon.

(: In the mean time, may the sunshine be with you all.

2007-01-06T01:15:00.000-08:00

I promise I'd never have imagined me to say this, but i'm starting to fall in love with temasek jc and its people. Or maybe a particular person, hahaha, I'm not saying. Let's call him mrx - that's mister x, not m.r.x :D And no, his name isnt xenon.

First day of school kind of put me off, besides the fact that I was pretty much alone, walking around like some lonely zombie, and probably a tiredly retarded face, I made a lovely new friend call Si Ting who's also in my OG- og16. :D

Second day came and went, definitely better, but it wasn't such a good day in terms of luck for me. :D Firstly, some koookooo bert broke the sling of my bag, so I had to carry it as a tote for the whole day. Secondly, My tooth chipped. Don't ask for more details, it just chipped. Thirdly, I forgot to bring my school pe shirt - resulting in the armouring of me in thick layers of pespiration with my school blouse on while learning 3 mass dances. BUT, I was starting to warm up to this TJ family.

Third day was pretty ecstatic for me when I woke up. Had a talk on college ethos - yaddda boom boom. And when it was time for games, our group started with the game caterpilla. Nothing happened during the game, it was after the game when we were supposed to run and carry the chairs to the other end faster than the other group to get 100 (now it seems pathetic; it wasn't then) points.

Rule number one I broke: Never sprint bare feetless. As you might have predicted - people were banging their chairs here and there as they ran helterskelter-ly; and holla, I landed on my beloved ankle. When it happened, my mind blanked, and i still ran to put the chair down. ( am I crazy or what?)

Rule number two I broke: I continued walking with my twisted ankle while the insides of me screamed silently in pain.

This is the turning point in which everyone started crowding around me like I was about to give birth, whilst my hair was in a wreck with pathetic tears streaming down my face and I looked as if I had constipation. Thank goodness people passed in time, or else they'd think I'm loving all the attention, which I wasn't. But you can be sure I appreciated all the care and concern. :D hahaha.

Then the first aiders came to save the day. They i.c.e.d me. which hurt like crap because it was stinging and stinging. Apparently, I reckon my oh-so-muscular leg was terribly heavy, so I offered to hold up my leg myself and save the guy's thigh from being crushed. haha. :D

Anyway, I had to hop over to the sick bay, which is adjacent to the g.o, which is pretty near if you had two functional feet, and feels like its way at the other end of the earth if you only have one. But thank goodness, shan rui and di hui were supporting me. I didnt rest my weight on them even if they tried to make me by wrapping my arms harder round their shoulders. I can say that they felt like guardian angels. :D And I love Di hui's strong strong arms, good for a first aider; you never know when you have to tend to someone who's gravtionally challenged; you get what I mean. chuckles.

From 10am to 12pm - I was being attended to, lovingly, by first aiders. :D and I'd never have believe this but suddenly, louis-lookalike from expo suddenly entered, and I was like, oh my muffins. He graduated last year. (: and he's really funny, I didnt get his name though. In the end, it appears that the 180 staff members TJ possessed were all busy with a meeting, so Di hui and mr louis had to send me to the hospital. :D There, we had to rush here and rush there and rush here and rush there. By the time they sent me home, it was 3pm. They were so nice and all, responsible too - for ensuring my safety. Throughout the way, they protected me like I was some princess, supported me; Di hui paid for my bills first, which was really nice. All in all, this action clearly shows care, something that I'd never imagined strangers could have done for me. Maybe it's this that I'd be attracted to Tj, but I'd never know if other Jc's are the same too.

I'm currently sofa bound, and I cant even climb up to my room because of the stairs, and the fact that with every step I take, my whole ankle will throb. This is so not funny; but i'd remain strong.

But for now, let's say that, I've to concentrate on getting better, because lectures start on monday. I'm currently reading up on my physics lecture notes, just in case I miss lectures. So, I guess I'd go back to doing just that, whilst trying to forget that little flutter in me mrx always create when I think of him. Oh, just bite me.

Take care of yourselves. :D

2007-01-01T22:39:00.000-08:00

My beloved family; My first sunset.
I own this; hahaha, for a night.
Just the 3 of us on our private beach (:
Oh yes, I hear you wishing you were there too.
Our lovely seafood dinner on our second night at melbourne.

An ode to 2006.

With freckles fall, and hopes ignite;

A love with a rocker.

And to it wreck, bittersweet tears,

oh alas, reasonings were disclaimed.

The race we sought,

all through with might,

and so we thought,

we'd make it through every night,

with toil and pain,

with sorrow and disdain,

with hope and fear,

with smiles and tears.

Or is it not how we saw it to be,

alas the end,

or the beginning that was yet to proclaim;

It's presence.

And yet through it all,

we've fought only one,

ourselves.

And when 2006 bidded farewell,

I held that rectangular metal sheen,

whispered happy new year to myself.

2006,

oh 2006.

2006-12-31T08:41:00.000-08:00

happy new year darling blog,
happy new year my beloved parents,
happy new year to my beautiful sister and her husband.
happy new year to all my family.
happy new year to my fantastic friends.
happy new year to you, of course.

Safirah asked me if I could pick anyone in the world, dead or alive, to talk to, who will it be. The answer was blatantly obvious in me, I just didn't want to mention it. Apparently, that one person is alive, but dead, and I miss him so, and no, he isn't my ex-boyfriend or ex-crush nor flame.

I've got an appointment later on today, with Zi heng. (: We're going out for a meal and spend time together, I'm nervously ecstatic.

Well, have the greatest year ahead! (:
God bless.

2006-12-26T01:26:00.000-08:00

haha, ever since the time my comp hanged and deleted my precious 3 hours worth of effort trying to post up a picture post for my extended family's malaysia trip, I've been putting off updating wholy. (:

In any case, both the holidays to malaysia and australia was ever fantastic, it was mind blowing actually, since I get to spend it with my ever beautiful parents. (: I promise i'd update the pictures some other day.

Anyway, MEERRRRRY BOXING DAY!! :D Christmas day was more of a hectic rampage on the surface, but deep down, i know that God was with me;It was meaningful. I've gotten two earrings, two necklaces, one bracelet, one cd from my extended family. :D People who dont know me well would probably give me accesories because well, I do like accesories. People who know me well on the other hand would know that I make accesories, so it's redundant to give me that. (: But I know i'm lucky, and I'm thankful for that.

I sent out around 30 christmas cards to get 3 in return. One from my primary school best friend, Geraldine, another from my lovely Godma Eileen, another from Slimming Sanctuary. (: But tis' the season of giving not receiving, and it's so much nicer to send em' out than opening them, though it's quite disappointing to see such a small turnover. (: Hahaa, so you guys know what to do next year.

I'm not a materialistic person, I promise, but I'm dying for a topshop shopping voucher because I want to get a thousand and one things from there, hahahah, people, pretend you didnt see this, i'm just wanting, that's all. :D TOPSHOP, sponsor me or something, hahahaa.

I badly need the gym, a fitness instructor ( myself, haha) and a smaller diet, and masking tape for all the people who can't seem to stop making fat jokes of me. :D I've been on a healthy eating regime this year, and I'm more fit as compared to last year, (: but not thinner nor lighter, because I wasnt intending to be. Anyway, I'm intending to lose 12kg by the end of next year and I'd be posting up updates occasionally. (: Right now, i'm currently 1.75m tall and around 85kg with a blast of confidence. :D Which means i've to be 73kg by the end of next year, and reader digest claims it's possible with a deduction of 500 calories per day. (:

My actions:

1) Water, and I mean, only water, except for the occasional milo; farewell my beloved ice milk tea.
2) Daily consumption of fruits and vegetables ( I have a love-hate relationship with greens)

3) No desert, yes, no icecream like paddle pop except for fruits; and that doesnt mean mango pudding.

4) Stairs, not lift. Stairs, not lift. Stairs, not lift.

5) Basically, no junk food, which is quite easy for me, because I hate chocolates, sweets(except mints) and potato chips.

6) Regular exercise; I'm probably going to sign up for a course, probably in amore or the community centre, or the sports council there. (: Kickboxing is love.

Okay, I'm heading up for some facial activity, merry boxing day once again! :D

2006-12-05T06:53:00.000-08:00

Hey sunshine,

Today, Shaikha and I ran through the blistering, pelting rain from far east to heeren. I believe that rain is one of the occasions that is perfect for socialising and showing kindness by sharing your umbrellas. Unfortunately, Singaporeans are too afraid of getting themselves wet while being kind. Except for the lovely DBS people who rent out gargantuan umbrellas to people walking from one end to another (:, you guys are angels.

There's a fine line between being honest, being blatantly rude, and constantly using the excuse of "it's who I am". There's only one thing that people will starkly remember you for. Your character; not your pretty looks because you're not the only pretty person on the planet, and not the way you sashay or flick your hair. Argue with me all you want, this is just my personal opinion, backed up by Daddy's wisdom.

I pretty much never ever get angry if you know me well enough, I'm hardly temperamental. However, recently, two people have broken the record and they're getting on my nerves, though I'm working on it fervently because hating and anger is not the triats of who I really am, but I wont lash it out on anyone; when I'm angry, I just try to control it and think of happy thoughts, or I simply will just try not to communicate with the antagonizer to prevent further aggravations. In actual fact, an apology will be appreciated but it will never be heard because "it's not who I(the person) am". I feel like tsk-ing now, but I wont. :D

I found the leather bag which I want to buy for next year already, and it costs 29.5266272% of the num one which is like $169 though I didnt buy it because I'm afraid it's just another impulse buy, and it's always good to kiv and look around first. (:

And if you're ever bored during the days whereby I won't be writing any posts, check out www.stevenlim.net :D Believe me, if pictures tell a thousand words, video's tell two million.

with all the sunshine in the world, Angelina.

2006-12-04T03:27:00.000-08:00

Notice: I'd be going away on the 7th, arriving back in sweet Singapore on the 23rd of December just in time for the celebration of x'mas; hopefully without a wallet too burnt. Do message me at (9x1x3x2x) whenever you think of me, both good thoughts and bad, because I love seeing alot of messages when I arrive home after a long trip abroad; it makes me feel, haha, warm.

Since it's impossible to do last minute posting of xmas cards, I'm up to my neck these days writing them. No, I do not do the ever-conventional "Dear xxxx, Merry xmas and happy new yr, love Angelina". (:

I've so been up to my neck selling all my used and unused accesories online, getting more cash to spend on my beloved family and friends tis' yuletide season. (:

I know alot of my friends have been asking me what I want for x'mas, (even though they hardly follow my list) so, here goes the list of what I want (in a materialistic way) for x'mas. Surprise me by actually following my list:

1. Topshop voucher, topshop voucher and topshop voucher
2. NO ACCESORIES, MAKEUP, BAGS and specific stuff that actually has a design which I'm so particular in unless I tell you specifically because well, I have a style people don't actually comprehend. (:
3. Surf babe voucher, I need flipflops badly :D
4. A plain brown/black rugged leather wallet with a coin compartment
5. A really nice handmade xmas card (: (this is the best)
6. How about money, as in cash. :D
7. That big NUM leather bag that costs $169 (make me a happy girl)
8. Did I mention, topshop voucher? hahahahahahhaa.

It's funny how throughout the year I've a thousand million things I'm hankering for; suddenly, I've hardly anything I want, or rather, the things I want I already earned the money and paid for. You don't really have to buy me a gift, I'd really appreciate a xmas card with a nice letter alongst with it. It's the thought that counts, honestly.

In any case, my mind's spinning, I'm going up now.
I'd be missing some people.

2006-11-30T00:56:00.000-08:00

I am deeply amused and antagonized by the word 'friends'.
I refuse to make known my reasons of pain and needs of company for a face and response of pity and sympathy.
In that case, it's much better to be alone.
Call me a loner, pathetic, unsociable.
Because somehow, I don't really care anymore.
As if holidays are meant to be happy and chirpy, however much I try to be.
They're bleak, black, and they open my eyes to betrayal, lies and selfishness.
I welcome the o's back again anytime soon.

2006-11-25T04:00:00.000-08:00

Honestly, I've came to this page almost everyday with a want to type out something.
I often stop after "hey sunshine" because I'm lost at what to write.
Perhaps it's because I've been spending too much time contemplating whether I should write out some things that are meant to be kept to myself.
That said, I probably should.

In any case, I wont be updating that often anymore, because this blog is becoming too plastic for me, and it starkly reminds me of who I'm becoming, because I'm losing the people whom I can be myself around.

It's funny how many people mould my definition for friends. This post is getting too negative for my liking. Perhaps I need a rest, I just want to be alone, go gymming, read a book, be the independent me.

I asked someone this question 8 years ago , do you have a friend you can call at 4a.m. to cry to, to tell a random joke with or just be yourself around without getting judged?

I dont. And I sickly need a friend now.

2006-10-12T02:54:00.000-07:00

Hey sunshine (:

So all of us are back on the treadmill, or so I hope. In this frantic, panicky race for achievements and performance excellence, can one actually find happiness and the innocent bliss the creme de la creme always mentions amidst all these?

Prelims are indeed over, raw results have been churned. Results are satisfactory, and I hope I can enter vjc science stream and make my dream a reality. Have I mentioned this before? I'm the most desperate wanna-enter-vjc-science-stream-student there ever was. I devote approximately 20 mins everyday ( scattered seconds ) calculating the possibilities that my face might make an appearance on vjc's '08 yearbook. Talk about obssession, this is worse than my bak chor mee or round market's chai tao kuay obssesion in any case. I'm not afraid of letting people know of my dream because I know that even if I don't make it there in the end, I stood up for what I believed and hoped in and gave my best shot.

In lingua pura, what do you call this? A brain tumour that resulted in prolonged migraines that was further compounded by the haze problem. I'm lost in a train of thoughts that would also be regarded as 'incoherent' in expository contexts.

Gone are the intellectual discursive flow and structure that made sense. In fact, all I'm hoping is that allowing my thoughts piece together by the stark arrangement of 26 unique symbols will relieve the tension up there.

I believe you don't know this. I'm extreemly attracted to intellectual beings with a kind heart and a heart laughter. (: If you're someone who fits the description, try walking around tampines, maybe there'd be a possibility that we may bump into each other someday, haha.

In any case, I'd be heading up to get more work done.
As someone close to me stated: " If you want to be happy, be~ "

Sweet dreams cupcake.

2006-09-28T09:20:00.000-07:00

Prelims are over.
My eyes are dropping out and pooping down like candy drops and jelly buttons.
My body tells me to go and rest.
My mind tells me to go and learn more about cro's and their contribution to us.
I reckon I follow my body for now.
I wouldnt want to catch a fever once more would I?
I apologise for the abrupt sentences.
You can't possibly imagine the effects of hardcore mugging for a whole month.
In fact, I love it, I love mugging.
Kill me, but I do.
I get excited when I get my hands on tys's or fys's.
Why should I follow the 99.98% of the student population studying for the sake of studying?
I actually love my subjects because I want to be the change for this world.

Enough of philosophies, I hope you're bored to death by now, because I'd be deleting post the next time I come online because sentence structure's just horrid. (:

See you, I need to wash my face now, the clay being oxidised into kaolin, is tightening my skin abit too much. Call me a geek, it turns me on. (:

Sweet dreams.

2006-09-02T05:24:00.000-07:00

Hey sunshine,

I really admire all the people who blogs constantly. Honestly, 24 hours in a day is definitely not enough for all who are in this race, be it for N's, O's or A's or any other exam whatsoever.

The time is really ticking away, every second counts in this race. Stop at nothing, people. Be everything but mediocre. Don't let " I did my very best " be an excuse but a fact.

Here's a dedication to :

1) Daryl, my brother who's taking his A's :

Believe in yourself. Your determination, inteligence, will power, astounds me. I'd definitely not be just at the finishing line, I'd be running with you, holding your hand, all the way.

2) Haha clan+ hiang liang (no, no spelling error there :D) :

These few months, our bond has brought much happiness and sunshine into my life. Thanks for all the support and comforting words. As I've said before, don't, don't stop the beat. Work for your dreams, I'd be your number 1 fan. After the o's, let's not waste a second and start feasting. (:

3) Everyone else in the race :

Stop at nothing. Believe in yourself. See beyond the points. Seek to understand. You can be so powerful. Be then, nothing is impossible.

This post has a purpose, it is to let everyone know that I'm officially taking a hiatus. Time is too precious to waste on the net, I hope you all make good use of the remaining time and savour the fruits of your labour.

All the best. (:

2006-08-19T15:26:00.000-07:00

Hey sunshine,

I know I should be studying right now, but I guess there's a burning desire to share with you my thoughts for me to suppress.

As usual, in an organised, point-formed manner :

1) Angel wonders
Does anyone ever reads my blog and goes around talking about me in their own gossip time. (: Don't get me wrong, I'd be honest to say that I don't, and am not willing to allow myself to waste time worrying about such miniscule matters, because, it does and will not matter till it hurts the people around me. Anyway, I was just wondering about the former because I don't have a tagboard and I don't think I will anyway, ( Probably because I'd waste precious time moderating it and trying my best to prevent it from being a conflict slashing arena/2nd msn chatroom for others. This is my blog afterall, selfish as it sounds. ) and thus, I'd just like to say hi to you, oh special one. (:

2) Blogs and tagboards
What is a blog/tagboard to you? A personal journal? Or perhaps, an area whereby you can voice out your inner thoughts and feelings to the masses without waiting for a response, or rather, a free publicity area to garner "good" attention. And the tagboard, a place whereby people can say hi to you, or is it just a reassurance that people are actually reading your blog, or perhaps, a place whereby people can give unnecessary incessant comments that often slant towards the negativity slosh.

Personally, I view my blog as an area whereby at times, I share my own learning points in my life to others whom I know and whom I do not know, and other times, like the rest, a santuary I can vent my anger, sorrow, pain, and more often than not, my happiness. A tagboard, I'd rather not have, because of the point I've stated above. Somehow, I'm thickskinned enough not to desire for that reassurance of popularity.

On a more general note, I personally do not understand the need for people to publicise their utmost inner feelings and thoughts on their blogs, tagboards. Furthermore, more often than not, without any maturity to make sure it doesn't hurt others. Frankly speaking, I don't get why students get reprimanded for slamming teachers and not for slamming others. Teachers, students, friends, other people, what difference do each hold? Superiority, respect? I doubt so. There is no conditions and excuses and limitations for slamming others. However, if you're clever enough, I hope you'd deem it more sensible in slamming others in broad day light in front of the person (if you've got the guts to) or behind the person (if you've a pride to keep). No one will appreciate it if you abuse your rights of freedom of speech in generating free "publicity" for them. No, not nice at all.

3) Conflicts, conflicts, and more conflicts
I see no need in rambling on about this topic. Because it is not as if after this post, the world's, or rather the people around me's conflicts will subside.

I'm a little confused about feeling angry, sad, pitiful when I hear conflicts happening in a radius of less than 10m surrounding me. This is due to the fact, I'm not in one, I've no rights to speak about this and that when I have not even tasted the raw sting of a conflict. What I feel about it though is that it's good that it happens once in awhile. Because 1) it proves that we are indeed humans, 2) pressure is released, you have a lesser chance of dying with all those hurt buried in your heart. However, the only negative side of conflicts between friends and all relationships, mean that it does not always end with a patch up or a make up session. Relationships and friendships will be broken, and more often than not, people end up in pieces. We must always learn that it is more important to forgive ourselves than to forgive others. For if we fail to forgive ourselves, we can forget about forgiving others. Same as to loving.

What else can I do? Clasp my hands in prayer as we pray as one for peace.

Have a great weekend, sunshine. (:

2006-08-07T17:43:00.000-07:00

Hey sunshine,

1) I'm having a migraine. For those of you who doesn't know what a migraine is, just think of it as little bugs in your brains knocking hammers all around your head. During this period, your mind's blank. The mere thought of studying makes me cringe, that's usual, but hear this, even thinking of an iced cold milk tea makes me cringe.This is how bad it is. But am I going to let the migraine control my life? No, I control the migraine, because, I know I can.

2) Have you ever gotten to know girlfriends/boyfriends who leech off their partner? Or perhaps, after getting into a relationship, their life revolves around that sole human being, and suddenly, you lost your best friend. Or perhaps your best friend has suddenly lost sight, determination and 'right' judgement and will to work for the more sustainable and important things in life. What will you choose to do? Stop, let your friend rot. Slap her in the face and wake her up with a risk of losing him/her. For me, I'd do the latter, why? You can actually question that? The mere fact that that person is my FRIEND is good enough a reason. Scrutinise me for all I care for being too independent or whatever you prefer, I detest people who depend on other people too much. Why? Being dependent means your life depends on other people. When you become too dependent, you become complacent. However, being too independent has its own shortcomings, at the end of the day, know your limit, set your balance, seek help instead of being too arrogant for your own good. Going back to the topic of leeching and blind partners, give the reason of love a rest. If you're still using that lame reason, maybe it's time for you to take a breather and take a look at what real love is. Let me share a little with you, real love does not screw up your life, neither does it prioritise your life, and make you neglect other more important things in life. When you find yourself drifting away from who you really are, what you should be doing, find strength and rectify the problem. If this a simple matter you can't even carry out, let me crown you a weak person and forget about being successful till you fall hard and learn.

3) Time is running short, I've no time to worry, shed tears, spend time getting myself involved in friendship problems. Here's to all who's facing difficulties right not, don't become bitter, but become better.

With much love.

2006-08-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

Hey sunshine,

It seems I'm clamming up into my own shell (if I have one, that is) and getting away from reality, from God, from my friends. However, from the bottom of my heart, I apologise if i've ever let anyone of you think that I don't want you in my life, I do, it's just that, at this stage of my life, I've to prioritise. It's the last lap of the four years and i'm not going to slow down, I'm going to accelerate, even faster.

The real problem with me now is that I study hard, and not smart. How I do that, is of a puzzle to me still. I've been working out all plans, trying out, and I guess we always learn from failures. Of course it hurts. Especially when you study so darn hard and so darn early for a particular test and kind of neglect other subjects to find out that you passed the other neglected subjects and failed that test you mugged your eyeballs out for. Or worse still, fail every other test. You see, my dear friends, our test results DOES NOT reflect the amount of time and effort we put in. Our marks, is in this proportion : 50% effort/time 20% questions are in our context aligned with what we studied 10% whether our marker is stringent, or goes all out (in good means, though) to cancel marking schemes we so faithfully study and come up with new ones 10% pure luck 10% pure genes/smartness in that subject ( i'm serious, if you have it, you have, if you don't, you just don't) Disagree with me by all means, but you will have to agree with it to a certain extent, because well, you've been through tests too. (:

Now what am I most worried about?
1) Insufficient time
2) Brain and knowledge not in context with papers
3) Breaking down
4) Losing touch with my world other than studies
5) My piano exam which I've been neglecting

At this point of time, all I need is to maximise every single second I have, yes, sleep can be left till after o's.

I'm walking on sunshine (OH OH OHHHH)
I'm walking on sunshine (OH OH OHHHHH)
and my feet is burnt now.
MUAHAAHAH

*private joke ( only know to haha clan ) : Confucian ideology encouraged authority and angarian and angarian ways, and angarian ways.

((: love you sunshine!

2006-07-28T19:50:00.000-07:00

Hey sunshine,

Sorry for the lack of posts, I wasn't ready to share my thoughts just yet.

I'm exhausted, I'm worried, I'm feeling the worst of worst at this point of time? Why, you may ask. O's are in 100 days time, P's are in 3 weeks time. My goal : Victoria Junior College. These incessant worries should self-destruct and I should spend more time studying instead, you may claim. And you know what? You're so right, for once.

I feel like screaming some times. It feels like a horrible race, and everyone's running as fast as they can, to the finishing race. And I'm pacing, panting, it seems so near yet so far. I've read like 2 million ( hyperbole ) success o level stories, let me tell you, even the most motivated have felt like a 'gong' one time or another. And I, am feeling like a 'gong' now. I'm slowly reducing my online time from 3 hours to 1 hour to 15 minutes, and soon, i'd just evapotranspire into reality. My reality is just hard core mugging in the library ( quoted by Mrs Tay Lian Tee ). When am I going to start marching into reality? Yes, next monday onwards, goodness, I don't have a choice. This is my future I'm quirping about. Whether it's going to work, i'm not going to leave it to oh-fate, it's my choice, and my life. I will make it work.

English : nothing much can be done in my context.
Maths : Practice, practice and more practice.
A Maths : Binomial
Circular Measure
Differentiation
Integration
Physics : Electricity and every thing to do with it.
Chemistry : Basically, I need to practise my answering skills.
History : Read, read, read.
SS : Read, read, read.
Geography : Buy that guide book
Start reading up more
Answering skills

Maybe i'd do well as a planner (:
You won't see me coming online pretty often from now. It's only 3 months, don't miss me too much eh. (: Next year, see me trudging in my vjc uniform or any other stuff that fate steers me towards.

In the mean time, my precious friends, continue to love one and another, as he has loved us all.

2006-07-17T05:07:00.000-07:00

hey sunshine, (:

Sorry for the late update but anyway, top happenings in my life currently :

1) *peeved face. All the "spring" common tests are just literally "springing" out of no where into every single day of this week. It's not like i'm the average beannie who hates tests, I don't, it's the part where all the tests wrecks up my study planner, and guess what? I've to push all my plans back by one week now. Can't wait for roasting session with goosie this saturday, but first, i've to focus and get my studies, tests ,*peeved look, done. (:

2) If you're actually my friend, not just an aquaintance in the school, you'd realise the scar/scratch/mark/gash on my face. I know you might find this hard to believe, like the rest of my not-so-trusting friends, but seriously, i got cut by a helicopter's blade. And you may ask, hmmm, so why didn't she die? Well, 1) It was going real slowly, 2) I had the common sense to run away. (:

3) I'm going to start a sunshine love fund for children, whereby i'd be, instead of selling my diy's for my own profits, profits will go to donations for orphanages. (: Support me ya? I'm still working on it. (: Thinking about all the smiles I'd receive, it's much better anytime than alloy camis, and beautiful yellow bags.

People who dons yellow attracts me, alot. (:

(: keep smiling, sunshine!

2006-07-10T21:36:00.000-07:00

Sunshine,

That picture, that scene, black and white,
It haunts, it jades, at its deepest.
Whilst gentleman sing of a mellow song,
of kinship, of friendship, of unrequitted love.
She, who spoke, she, who loved,
She, the fool, yet, torned, she lived.
Rurtured and grushed, turns, thronged,
of yellow flowers, of a pink so pure.
edit/
Everytime I think about you, I'm filled with a joy incomparable to waffles and honey, yet tears silently make their way through the contours of my face, because i'm who you never attained happiness from. And you, erase my years, and I'm back where I started once more.
edit/
I love you, daryl, my brother.

2006-07-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

Sunshine,

I love observing people, looking at them, and just noticing the Jesus in them. Like the little boy that was hopping from a garden stool to another in the park and his innocent smile. Or that guy at the bus stop holding his books and that moment where his eyes sparkled as his smiled like a little boy towards the sky. Or the times when I fall in love with the real portrait of people, with hands clapsed, eyelids down, praying. In them, I see love, I see a reflection of God. It's in these moments, I feel real joy and happiness on this Earth. With this, I pray that people might see a reflection of God in me.

The previous week was precious, precious because I've never been through so much in a week, and by myself. Through this week, I've fell, I've cried alone, I've picked myself up, I've became stronger. But I knew, I wasn't really alone. (: He, our love, was there beside me, wiping my tears away, and whispering sweet notes and jokes to make me laugh into my ears. To think I devoted precious time of my life feeling sorry that the people I loved so much were too busy with their life to spend time to listen to my drama-rama's and nitty-gritty's of my days, looking back at how silly I was.

It's really tough to answer you when you ask me face-to-face because how much it meant to me, no one will ever know the real value of that besides the one up there, as such the time I spent preparing my applications and drafts and more paper work. But yet, my lovely friend informed me, I wasn't given a chance to live my dream the way I hoped to. Initially, while I was walking in through the darkness, I cried silently to myself as I ached so badly, which was made worse with the fact the people I rendered closest to my heart were not able to allow me to enter their lives for that moment to seek comfort for that moment. But really, I realised, not given to live my dream the way I wanted it to be, does not mean I can't. When you see me in reality, try to avoid asking me, after all, I'm human, I do feel the pain.

I've one and a half hours, after which, I've brahms lessons, and I'd get some shuteye before 2.50a.m (: HEH, to think a few weeks ago, Angel said : " world cup? what a waste of time! " Well, that was before cristiano ronaldo (note: he's just eye candy to me. (: am not crazy over his playing) came into my life. Well, sunshine, i need to get my sixer's badly, do pray for me. (: *winks.

If it doesn't happen in the way you want it to, it doesn't mean it ain't happening.

Keeping you in prayer.

2006-07-01T03:59:00.000-07:00

To reader : This blog is actually my personal space, my place to piece my thoughts. Any critiques and other a,kfuhkajhksbv is purely coincidental or with no intention on hurting anyone and anything. I do not want to restrict myself to write only 'nice looking' stuff that pleases everyone. No, I'm not a hypocrite. However, do not use this blog to judge me. I write this with my heart, and not my mind. But it is my heart, mind and soul that makes who I am, thus.

Hey sunshine,

An exerpt from "The journey" by Ro. K.

" As she walked down the alleys and crossed drains, she passed buildings of a hometown so nostalgic, it overwhelmend her. Darkness that overshadowed her and coldness of the midnight that enveloped her. How could so much unhappiness be masked with laughters filled with warmth? She walked on, not knowing what was to come, where was to be.

As she took her step for the 50th minute, a surge of emotions overpassed in her soul. She felt the spacing between herself and the rest of the world. Her family, her companions, her life. Why did Saikcheron and his beau took a step out of her life when they knew how much she needed them? Perhaps, through this, she learnt independence, or much more, angst, jealousy, hatred, scorn, bitterness, envy. The vicious cycle, in her mind, the people who stepped in, creating nothing but chaos and more emotional pain, stabings of throngs. Betrayal and all alone, she hated whatever friendships she spent so much time giving to, and ended up as the former.

She saw herself, all dreaded down, combed, surged. Heaviness, she collapsed, with all the physical, emotional trenches that made her who she was. She died.

*****

The woman fluttered her petite eyelashes, unaware of the surroundings. She felt light, and there and then, new life was given to her. The woman walked away from what seemed and was a portrait of scars and scorn, she was strong once more"

A nice story isn't it? It's really meaningful, you should try reading the book too. Perhaps, you'd learn to stop being selfish and cause the death of others with your actions and words. I did and it's your turn. Many a times, we get so caught up in our world that what's left of us is just one word "me". Take a look around, it's the people around us that makes up our world. Lend a helping hand before expecting a hand to be extended out to you. If you see your brother and sister in a holl, reach out, and love.

Time is ticking. What are you waiting for?

With this, may sunshine days make up your life, for now and always.

2006-06-18T22:16:00.000-07:00

INTO MARVELLOUS LIGHT I'M RUNNING.
LIFT YOUR HANDS AND SPIN AROUND ( angel goes toink toink ).

Evening sunshine. (:

I dont know where to start, honestly. So let me just share with you a song a wrote for God. (:

He's given me new life,
He's given me new hope,
He's given me the light,
that shines through my darkness.
He's given me JOY! JOY! JOY!
He's given me the best gift of all,
He's given me himself.

Sometimes, sunshine, you don't have to see things with your eyes to believe in something. You use faith, to believe.

When things don't happen the way you want them to happen, it doesn't mean it's not happening.

When you desire something, ask yourself, why? Why are you hungry for it? Do you really need it?
Let me share with you a small experience. I was hungry to have visions of God, to just touch his face, hold his hand, just one experience of his presence. I didn't see him in the dramatic way that I desired during healing session. For that simple reason, I lost faith in his presence. My heart ached so much and I silently teared through the night. Just like the marvellous love of God, it dawned upon me as the voice at the back of my head asked me, Does seeing him face to face make you love him more? I didn't have to see him in visions, he works in his small little little ways, and for that, I trust and have faith in him.

In these three ways, I share with you lessons. But, my sunshine, only experiences, can make it whole. My experiences, are just little special moments I share with God and they're really personal and close to my heart. To you, my lovely sunshine, remember, he'ld always be there, no matter what. In the darkness, he's the little bright light that will show you the way, if you'ld let him be.

WE LIVE BY FAITH AND NOT BY SIGHT FOR YOU!!!! ( angel goes toink toink ).

sweet dreams, sunshine.

2006-06-14T16:35:00.000-07:00

Hey there sunshine (:

I'ld be going on the Youth In The Spirit Seminar tomorrow and will be back on sunday. I haven't packed my bag finish. Oh yes, I'm beaming now because I get to spend 4 whole days closing the prevalent gap between the father up there and me.

The below is just my personal matters that I wish to voice out. If you have your own personal opinions, please feel free to stop reading any time. (:

I've seen them evolve, metamorph, into angels and after what we call mutual seperation, I can only stand at a side, see them wasting their lives away, in my terms. One by one, their faces painted a stony grey with no happiness of a lark. Whilst I, the repititive castaway, have been falling, but, standing up again and again, to be stronger than before.

Ever since the guy upstairs, I've changed and became who I wanted to be, not who other people liked me to be. And for that, I've lived these few years with no regrets. But it's them I feel sorry for, not pity, but sorry. Because they can't seem to stop falling in and out of the one thing they're so dependent of, and because of that, they cant seem to smile like they used to.

One by one, I'm watching their lives, never hesitating to lend a helping hand to piece them back together again after their constant heartaches. What are they doing.

I have a thousand and one things to complete, yet, I'm going to meet my lovely cousin, divinia in a short while, because, I miss her. (: Before that, let me run my fingers on my black and white keys to the silent cries of Brahms.

Don't miss me too much while i'm gone, but if you do, just whisper angel and i'd be there.

2006-06-13T00:50:00.000-07:00

Today, as I was singing cheerfully about the pretty yellow flowers by the road, I dashed across the road by mistake.

That black car, screeched. That motorcycle, shunned off path. The car stopped, leaving no breathing space between us. I wanted so much to crumble on the road. But I took quick steps, as I allowed my wobbly legs carry me where I was to go, with a stricken look upon my face as tears streamed down uncontrollably. Fear, shock, was all i possessed.

All i needed was someone to lean on, to collapse on.

In that split second, I was so afraid, so afraid it was over.

Why is it when I run my fingers through those 88 black and white keys, the sound surrounds me, envelopes me, for that moment, I lose reality.

With that, comes my dream of being a violinist after attainment of my piano diploma. Was it owen, or Brahms, Schumann and Clara, or just the tragic sound a violin produces that tugs on your heart, and spites the most raw wounds, or just that, it allows me to bring music to every part of this world, unlike the piano.

This world wasnt made for you to live in, but to conquer it.
Your life wasnt given to you to be successful, but to be extraordinary.
How long are you going to wait before you fufil dreams that only adolescence can approve of?

Brahms Intermezzo in A major, Op 118 No 2.

2006-06-08T20:40:00.000-07:00

hey love,

Today was really great. It started off with me ruffling my hair, grumbling to myself about how o's is creating a lethargic shadow over me, with all those lectures.. But it got better when I totally irritated jovita with my pram stories (: What's the colour of the pram? Baby pink? Blue? Orangy-Green? During geog, i realised tuition is cancelled, so I can watch William at night. (: After classes, Hiang Ling, Li Fang, Hui Hoon and I went to eat bcm, (: And we realised we didnt have money so we shared 2 bowls of generous servings.

William was charming as always. This show depicts a fantasy that does not exist in reality. But sometimes, only fantasies are able to let me believe, even if it's just a little spark, it's still a hope.

These few days, you've been back to haunt me.
In my dreams, you smiled, you waved.
Your gorgeous face, it spited me.
My cries in the night, they resounded.
The dark enveloped me, only.
So if you're reading this,
Listen to me,
Go back to how you were in the last month,
Out of my mind, Out of my heart,
Stay that way,
Take that step out of my life,
Just do me a favour,
I dont need incessant tears no more.

2006-06-02T22:03:00.000-07:00

Hey there lovely ,

I'm having a designer's block, my brain can't function at this moment. I feel like just stopping this design passion for the period until o's are over and done with. And i just bought a thousand charms, beads, buttons. Would love someone to advice me. (:

I'ld be heading over to marine parade library's starbucks in a moment to meet vindri and yuann to get chemistry & a maths done. (: I'm an extreme organiser who actually planned the whole june out and what topics to study for every single day. Guess what? I reckon i'm going to cancel study plans for saturdays to head to orchard to splurge at topshop. Thanks to my beautiful friends and their bird day presents for me (: (imagine a very excited and grateful angel clapping her hands, yea, that's it)

I just realised I havent bought anything from the outside world ( I've been getting stuff online ) in ages.
I woke up at 11 plus a.m. today, (pardon the singlish butt....) THE SLEEEEP WAS SHIOK AH. Come on, it has been 2 months since I woke up at that time. (:

This post is filled with sincere true feelings. I'm just a little chaotic on the inside of me. Will be better. (:

Have the loveliest day ahead.

2006-05-30T05:01:00.000-07:00

Hey there darling,

Yesterday, I met divinia and had the greatest fun. We ate bcm and headed to city hall to check out accesories at Topshop and had a really good talk at macdonalds. (: Went to orchard and combed the whole area. She's such fun to be around with, and that's why she's the cousin i love the most! (: happiest/corniest times of the day : dont touch my P P, please touch my NO NO, the macho man with a panda warrior tatoo on his arm. (:

divinia, before joke.

divinia, after joke.

After lectures today, Hiangling, Lifang, Huihoon and I went out for lunch. (: We had a 'ball' of a time at Tampines Mall's Kopitiam. We even made up a concoction, specially for you, yes you! :D

No, i'm not telling you what it's made of, go figure! (:

We also had the greatest fun getting worried about a stalker who was wearing red, who stared at all of us from head to toe, hahaha. But you know what was the best and funniest thing about today? (: A particular someone. Mrs Backy Khoo BJ . ( last name not revealed to protect privacy (:)

Nostrils alert.

A censored scene from the pink panther. te de, te de, te de te de te de te de Te DEEEE. ( pronounced as ther der)

Announcing the arrival of the MACHO BOOBIE BOUNCER / BODYGUARD (:

There are tons and tons of other photos, but these 3 are the most hilarious. (: Thanks to you 3 + Louis, for making my day!

Disclaimer : When was the last time you reached out and helped someone ? Dont reject the next needy hand, because you wouldnt know how much the person needed help at that point in time.

2006-05-29T22:26:00.000-07:00

Hey beautiful,

I had my first kiss of my o level's today. It was not too sweet, yet supple enough, because I know I did my best. I wrote so detailed for gong han, that ranted on till about 5 pages, which left me 40 pathetic minutes for zuo wen. (imagine a shivering angel who has 40 minutes to write a zuo wen, yea, that's it) I wrote about daddy for my zuo wen, about his selfless, compassionate acts and how they left such a deep imprint and impact on my life. (: I refuse to let him know though, just in case he get all high and mighty, heh. (:

I went out with divinia, my closest and loveliest cousin today. The details, i'ld let you know some other time when i've loads of time to spare, and i'ld make sure you'ld have great fun reading about it.

For now, i'm just really tired, physically, mentally. With the people i love the most not believing in my best... I just need some shuteye, wipe away the incessant tears, focus on what's more important. I hope this helps..

I'm thankful for all the tears they made me shed, because only now do i realise how much every single word of theirs means to me.

Give me strength.

2006-05-26T22:30:00.000-07:00

Hey there,

How was your day today? Most people would shrug and mumble an unconvincing 'okay' or something mediocre and predictable. If you asked me how my day was, I would like to answer you with this word : blessed.

Today marked the end of our cheena regime in school, today also meant the last day of school to many others ( not for the case of the graduating students in Temasek Secondary School & probably all around Singapore ) , today i received my report slip that stated the grades I achieved after my preparation, my execution for the eight subjects I'm examinable for.

In giving my best, and doing my best, I acheived grades that contradicted my attitude towards my studies, towards my future. It is at this stage, where no one will be able to know what really went on, that includes my lovely parents. Understand, I did, in an effort to give them the respect that I needed to. However, being disappointed in my best, and putting me down further indirectly with words that simmered blatantly of unhappiness just ended up in a situation whereby my heart felt an ache, and i cried silently.

At this point of my life, do not tell me it's alright, and serenade me with hollow comforting words. If you really do want to make me or anyone else feel better, show it. Don't speak it. Offer to help in anyway possible, make time to ensure that the person has a shoulder to cry on. If you find a difficulty in doing so by actions, then save the words. You asked a person to relax, did you do anything to help the person relax? Action speaks louder than words, it hit me once, i learnt it twice. This is my personal stand, and is in no aim to offend anyone.

You probably are wondering why i described this day as 'blessed' since I'm portraying such a negative outlook on this day. Well, I guess it's because ...

I'm thankful for having so many test papers to do and going crazy over the cheena regime, it means the teachers acknowledge the capability of ours to push our limits.

I'm thankful for having the grades that I have, it means that i have the chance to attain even greater grades to achieve happiness that only comes when you see your fruits of labour.

I'm thankful that my parents are disappointed in me, it means that they believe that I can do so much better.

I'm thankful for the times I've been alone, it means that I get to spend personal quality time with God.

It's human nature that we tend to focus on the unhappy moments of the day. However, I believe that our days will be so much more complete if we focus more on the blessings we receive each day.

Stop, Look, Think. What made you smile today? Take a few moments and think about it. And from today onwards, before you drift to dreamland, ask yourself that same question. I'm not going to tell you why, and how it'ld make that difference in your life. You try it for yourself. (:

By the way, that picture is of a penguin named Rusty, and Rusty made me smile today. Did he make you smile too? (:

Count your blessings, my dear friend. Sweet dreams.

2006-05-23T18:53:00.000-07:00

Hey there lovely (:

Everyone (hyperbole (:) has been pestering me to update my blog, and thus, you're reading it now. The reason to why i've been putting off updating my blog is because i didn't have a huge chunk of spare time to update everyone about my bird day party, and so, I was actually waiting for a chance whereby I can just rant off about my whole bird day party, The Gold Rush, on saturday. (:

Initially, I was so hyped up about doing an illustrated update on my blog about my bird day party but Daddy's 20 megapix canon produced 3mb pictures that took more than an hour to load each. I got rather impatient and all, since there were around 70 pictures. Thus, I'ld be getting a program cd, called picture project, from Stacy, whereby I can resize the pictures and all, and you all can feast your eyes and share the happiness and laughter we all had at my party on Saturday in photobucket. (: So, for now, do bear with my un-illustrated update!

20th May 2006 - Angelina's Gold Rush Mission

My lovely guests started arriving from around 12.40 p.m. onwards, clearly having an aim to be fashionably late. (: I realised they were all waiting for one another so they could bombard my house in one big group at the bus stop. Nevertheless, they showed up, and I ushered them to sign in on my Bling bling Gold Vips' Sign In Scroll. (: Daddy took loads of pictures of it, you'ld get to see them at a later date.

At around 1.10 p.m. , around 30 people were present, and I initiated the game, Pin the tail on the Duckee, (similar to the game more well-known as : pin the tail on the donkey) and it was pretty much unpopular except for the sporting few, like Safirah, John, Louis, Yu Xiang, to name a few, who volunteered to be spun around and search for a wall and tail a duck, it was really fun actually. (: Anyway, the game was interrupted by the arrival of the buffet, (everyone shouts hooray! (:) and everyone started queueing up for the scrumptious food (okay, mainly the boys). Mummy should never have worried about over-ordering. I was actually more worried that we under-ordered, upon seeing how the food were literally snatched. Poor tempura prawns. Happy guests, and for me, that's all that matters. (:

We went on to playing Passing the Gold, my very own rendition of Passing the Parcels, inclusive of targetted and planned sabos and lovely, (very.) forfeits. To name a few :
1) Write Happy Bird day with your butt, after every letter, jump and shout hoorah!
2) Tell a funny story that starts with ' I am a granny who is going to rob a bank' and end with 'and the bunnies hopped away'
3) Write your IC number with your body and make sure everyone guess it right!

and the list goes on, this game totally rocked and everyone participated! (: The funniest thing was that the circle went from the hall, to the living room, to the kitchen and back to the hall. It was so packed but it was fun nevertheless for all of us. (:

Advertisement alert : If you need forfeits for a party or anything, please contact me at sunkissed--@hotmail.com Guranteed the craziest, most bombastic forfeits. (:

After that, we played even more games and ate and ate, and ate. (: It'ld be crazy for me to note down every little detail, I'ld let the pictures do the talking! (:

Then around 5, I made my speech and made a personal wish, and a 'public' wish for all my lovely friends. (: I proceeded to cut my 3kg tiramisu. In my personal opinion, I did not really like the cake, though it looked really good, with the 16 candles and all. Perhaps, my expectations of tiramisu has been raised so high, the rest seem to pale in comparison. (:

Later on at night, Russell, my beloved kor came. Together with Stacy, with her abso delicious HOMEBAKED cupcakes and cookies (pure evil) and Darius, with his customised bomb specs. (:

We had the greatest fun at night playing 'guessing the number' game, and having to eat (haha!) not-the-nicest-tasting mango puddings as a forfeit, and Darius taught us advanced murderer, which was really refreshing, and really fun in all. We had so much fun till we lost track of the time. It was around eleven thirty when all of them set home. (:

Can you imagine? I had about 50 guests in total, in my pewny, cosy mansionette. Indeed a miracle. (:

The best part of my party, you may ask me, is having the people I loved the most celebrating this special occasion with me, not for me, but with me. (: That was the best part of all.

Thanks to everyone for their lovely, thoughtful presents. If I start to mention all the presents my greatest friends got for me, it'ld know no end. Thus, just know that all of your thoughts were heartfelt and I really appreciated it. (: It was a real pity some couldnt make it, but thanks for all the bird day wishes! (: They made my day, that's for sure.

Us, students in Temasek Secondary School of the graduating cohort, just launched our mother tongue week. For the chinese students, I'ld like to refer it as 'cheena regime' (: It's a gruelling regime, sucking all our energy and zest, but you know what? (: My chinese is improving and my brain's slowly functioning in a manner whereby I actually dont panick when I see chinese-looking characters. (: And for me, that's good.

Went out with Russell and Kelvin today for a good cuppa to discuss about the service project that will take place from june to july. (: We came up with really great and power-packed ideas, and I'm really excited for them. I've been praying for more faith and more opportunities to contribute to the church, and yes, doors are opening. (:

Happiness of the day :

1) Got my balenciaga motorcycle le dix inspired clutch in black in the post today
2) Had a surprise bird day card and present from one of my online gf/ dolly mag supplier in the post(:
3) Found a balenciaga motorcycle le dix inspired bag at such an affordable price in black.

Don't label me, after all, I've been a good girl this year (: I do have to reward myself at times, and this is one of such rare times.

Have the lovliest evening. (:

2006-05-19T07:02:00.000-07:00

Hey lovely,

My cold's getting worse, i'm snorting every other second. Get well soon yuan. (: Guess i'm not the only sicko one around, heh.

I got back English, Chemistry, SS and History today. (: I was quite impressed by my English marks, since it was higher than what i expected, still room for more improvement though, especially nasty comprehensions and summaries. I'm not too proud to say this, but I failed Chemistry by a close margin. I really really did my best, and I know that, if I put so much more effort into it, especially for the Section C, for if I passed that, I would have done well, I would do much better next time! The most disappointing result was Socials, it was really unexpected because socials was my strongest subject and all. I passed my History though. I'm going to work so very hard for my prelims throughout June and Hiangling and Lifang, the lovelies, are going to help me with my chinese next whole week, I'm really blessed to have them as my friends. Dear Lord, let me pass and do so much better for my chinese o's.

After school, i went to meet Russell and we watched The Da Vinci Code. (: We were both mr & miss brownee's today, heh. Then again, when am I ever not? So, thankfully, we got the tickets and we headed to Singtel and Russell showed me Nokia 6111, his dreamphone, it was so huge a hint, it was bigger than all the planets in this world, haha. We went to Mos burger next to get a Milk tea, since we were both thirsty and all. Russell was telling me about his lao-sai-ing experience, I felt really sorry for him and I understood what he was going through and all since I went through it before. Dont worry brother, you're not alone! (: Anyway, being the dont-care-if-i-die-person that he is, he still insisted on drinking milk tea. That cuckoo. We went to Ntuc later on, and I bought treats for tomorrow! I realised Russell was a junk food junkie, and he was like 'oo, this is paradise' or something along those lines, and these two aunties turned around and laughed at him (: It was so funny. He ended up buying popcorn, and some chocs, with an intention of stuffing them into my bag to sneak in to the cinema, and buy nachos too, a real junk food junkie at heart. (:

The movie was not bad, I would say. The whole picture that formed in my head while reading the book for the first time was on par with the movie. (: The movie was rather detailed, to my surprise. However, the movie lacked the special x-factor of the 'leave-you-in-suspense' after every chapter thing. We headed to Starbucks later on, and I treat him to a cuppa caramel frap, I got a caramel java chip for myself. We're caramel junkies now! (: Anyway, we had a really good chat over the cuppa about everything revolving round Da vinci and his plans for his class! I'm really really excited for him and for his class. I'ld pray that everything will be great on sunday, which will because it's Russell. (:

After the cuppa, he waited with me (that was really sweet of him (: ) to meet up with the pretty belinda to give her her items she purchased from me. (: Through that time, we were like laughing at bimbo cheers, and I (mean little me) made him have a headache by asking him to name my pet word/phrase. I made this deal with him that within two days, if he could guess it, he'ld get a mud pie from me. (: He probably wont guess it out, haha. By the way, on our way home, we met my church friends, who unfortunately cant make it for tomorrow's party and we made this huge detour before walking home. He gave me this nice, warm REALITY BIRD DAY HUG. (: I cant wait to receive his oh-so-an-angelina-and-expensive bird day card he got for me. He's a lovely brother, I must say.

Do you realise it's getting real humid these days? I thought it was only me, that my pores were enlarging proportionately with my size and I was pespiring profusely all the time. I didnt realise other people were feeling the heat too. Being the pure geography student that I am, can I please inform you that this is just one of the signs that Global warming is hitting Earth now, and Earth will soon face dire consequences if actions are not taken. You wanna live? Then i say, let the trees live. Stop being selfish. I know it's easier said than done, but take the first step, don't be a follower. (: Global warming will soon stop, Singapore will experience snow and Snow city will go bankrupt. (imagine a very hyped up Angel laughing like mad now, yea, that's it) (:

Mummy's shouting at me to get my butt up to start decorating the place. Hmm, for what you may be thinking. Wait, you dont know? But it's the biggest party of the year! (: The Gold Rush, exclusively for vips and invited guests at Angelina's house tomorrow from 12pm onwards. It'ld be such a bash, when I blog tomorrow, i'ld be Angelina juice, with no pulp. (:

I miss Kelvin once more! (:

2006-05-18T21:25:00.000-07:00

Today's my sicko sixteenth bird day, journey with me on a flash back of this day.

For the first hour of my birthday, I was in this room, with Daddy showing me the ropes on financial planning for the future. He showed me reality, and that was a great present. Together with midnight, smses flooded my phone from Shirleen, Jobitar, Hiang Ling, Xin Yi (Choir), Lovely Mali, Hidayah, Li Fang, Kelvin, John, Sylvia. I teared for a moment, even if I played a huge part in forcing them to sms me ' happy bird day', they still did and that touched me alot. (:

When the second hour came, I was already in slumber land, and Russell's bird day wishes for me came in with a virtual hug! (:

At the sixth hour, I woke up suddenly, probably gotten used to school timing, Yuan's lovely message came in with get well soon wishes. (: Seeing Russell's message, I started messaging my darling brother and all, talking about the soccer match between Barcelona and Arsenal. (: Hey, i'm not just any bimbo girl alright, haha. I soon fell asleep once again.

At the seventh hour, Justin sent me a birthday wish. (: I was still sleeping though, yea, miss piggy me.

At the eighth, Sweet Adeline sent hers too, thanks girl. (: Okay, the alarm clock was ringing so loud in my ear, can you believe that I actually over slept? Goosie's supposed to come over at 9am, i woke up at 9 plus. I immediately sent her a message and apologised and asked her to come over! (: When i got up from bed..... (dang, problems uploading pics) anyway, I saw my ipod nano wrapped nicely with mummy's lovely card and gold pao (: You should have seen my million dollar smile.

Mummy cooked me two half-boiled eggs, yummilicious! (: Goosie came over, and we started on planning the games for my bird day party! (: We were so stuck with the forfeits, but heh, we managed to pull through in the end, found out that Goosie aint that crazy since she couldnt come up with crazy forfeits much. I came up with horrendously ecentric ones, all of you are in for it! (: *evil cackles. Sis's message came in, So did the ever adorable big-eyed vindri.

I realised that Goosie bought the nike bottle i wanted for herself. Dang, i wanted to be the only person in school to have that. Haha, never mind. *lips twitches.

Daddy made his way back home, and i beautified myself in my new brown fox shirt, esprit khaki's, my lovely disc belt. Pumped up my hair, donned my Asos crotchet danglies, slicked on my liquid eyeliner. I was ready for my sicko sixteen feast.

I love the equinox and the high tea was supreme, fit for royalty. Their platters ranges from east to west, from sushi to fondues, yes! Okay, sicko confession here, i had like 7 chawanmushi's. (: I met Aunty Linda, Darius's mother there too with her husband. (: She wished me happy bird day, she was real sweet. Apparently, she wasnt really in the best of health, let's pray for her. Sis joined us shortly after her scan. We had a lovely time there.

After that, we headed to raffles city, that's when they went on to Robinsons and went on a shopping spree at their sale. I did not really like the idea of shopping on my bird day, i mean, it's only once a year, and shopping can be done the whole year round. So, i roamed around for awhile, and settled down on the first level, with a magnificent view of people passing me by. I placed the new apple headset into my ears, and for a moment or two, i felt so alone, and horrid.
I sat there for around 2 hours, as if my family forgot about my existence, and tears unvoluntarily fell. Thank God for Mali, my new girl, she was there to comfort me and all through messages, thanks alot. Through this, Jane, yiling, Gwynneth, Vanessa, Huihoon, Christabel, Shaikha messaged me too. (: I guess, not all bird days are perfect, but the fact that there are people loving and caring about me, it is perfect in it's own way.

On the way home, i teared in the car, okay, don't mind me for being emotional here. (: It's just that my bird days havent been the happiest, but at least, i do have my family celebrating with me, and i'm thankful for that. Lovely Christabel messaged me on the way back, with wishes. (:

Safirah messaged me not to long ago, together with others, whom i havent mentioned, like Cornee, and Naz. (: Thanks to all of you. Because you made my bird day special, despite the incessant stupid liquideyeliner-smudging tears. Don't worry if you forgot about my bird day, i believe all of us get cuckoo and forgets some VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION sometimes (:

Thirty minutes till my bird day is over. The motive of my post here, is not to make anyone feel guilty or anything, is to let all of you know, if you ever feel down, you know that you're never alone, and that, i'ld be here for you, on your bird days, everydays. (:

I can wait for tomorrow, i'm going out with Russell to watch Da vinci and hang out for awhile. Haha, alright, got to run up now to do my chinese homework. Dang, i miss Kelvin. (:

2006-05-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

HAPPY SICKO SIXTEEN BIRD DAY TO MEE (:

Thanks to all the lovely people who stayed up to wish me : Hiang ling, Xin yi, Mali, Hidayah, Shirleen, Jovee. I'm so touched now, i think i'm about to cry. (:

As another year passes by, i've learnt new things, broke my heart, fell in love, did well in school, failed subs, grown fatter, felt slimmer, grew taller, spent lots of stash, loved my friends, grown closer to my family, made new friends, laughed alot, alot, and if it werent for God, i wouldnt be sicko sixteen today. (: Thank you God, this special day is for the special you.

I love everyone of you.

once again, happy sicko sixteenth bird day to me, yes, No typo error / erratum there. (:

It's not too late to sms me at 91173422, heh. Make me happy and get your name published on my site!

Sweet dreams, sicko sixteen! (:

2006-05-17T18:52:00.000-07:00

Good evening Gorgeous (:

Firstly, I'm sick, no matter how much water i drink, how much sleep i get, i'm still that sick with flu and fever, and tomorrow's my birthday. sharks. (: Pray for me while I'ld try to sleep even more, I think Russell, Kelvin and I can form some Piggy Club, we have this weird body clock and loves our sleep! Haha.

Secondly, I'm really happy today because I made my first sale, one day after my shop launched! (: I'm really ecstatic, and many thanks to all the people who have believed in me, and to that lovely girl who's going to be the new owner of Navian La Soldat, The Navy Soldier.

Happy/sad stuff aside, we got back our results back today for Pure Geography, E Maths, Physics, A maths. As i've always believed that the only way to success is to use only yourself as a comparement, not others, I feel that this time around, I've met my expectations but not my goals. (: Meaning, I set expectations with regards to how much I've studied, How well I know my stuff, How prepared I am, How the paper was, and yes, I've met my expectations. However, we can't achieve success on expectations alone, we need Goals too. And i'm still albeit far from my goals with my results this time around, but I believe that if I put in the extra effort, I'ld have my goals nailed, the same goes out to you all.
This is what I've to say:

1) to the people who've studied and gotten the results you wanted

Congratulations and you're the living proof that with hard work and determination, success is prevalent. Good Job, and remember to inspire and help others with the talent you've been bestowed with. However, there's always room for improvement, hit your one's the next time round, I know you can do it!

2) to the people who've studied but did not get the results you've wanted

Firstly, let me congratulate you warmly because you've had the discipline to study, and that alone, is commendable. Ask yourself, are your expectations the level they are due to the people around you? Once again, I mention, be the only person you compare to. People have different levels, and dont be too harsh on yourself. (: Perhaps this time round, you were not as prepared, or you did not answer in the way that was needed. Do not worry, know that you're not alone. The best advice I can give, is to learn from this exams and work on your tys. Together with that attitude of yours, one's will be yours. (:

3) to the people who did not study but passed

To some, it may be fluke, to me, it just shows that you've got intelligence. Why not put in the extra little effort? (: Get your distinctions, that's what I say! Dont let your ability fall short of your laziness, keep it up!

4) to the people who did not study and did not get the grades they wanted

This group of people, there's one thing i've got to ask you first. Did you expect this? If so, then i'm telling you that, if you put in more effort and take more consideration of your grades, you'ld do so much better in the future. If you didnt expect this grades, then i'm telling you, you're being too complacent here. Not studying with an expectation of good grades will not allow you to achieve success, but habouring false, empty hopes. Come back to reality, i say. Be confident of the outcome.

5) to four nurture

As your friend, your class manager, i'm proud and really happy to tell you all, i see great improvements, in all of you. You make effort in your own ways. Perhaps, others might think it's meager and non-existing, but that's enough for now. Go the extra mile, and remember, we're all friends, and that means to support each other, rain or shine. Shed tears for now, I know how it feels, but we must all rectify whatever evident problems, together. (: Let's make it happen, let's be heroes.

Okay, this is disgusting, but i'm snorting to suck in all that gooey stuff in my nose, and I cant stop sneezing, and my eyes are watery. I'ld probably just sleep in tomorrow, and that reminds me, kelvin, mr polka dotts, is going hk tomorrow, sharks, remember my balenciaga! (: I'ld miss you!

loving you, yes, you! (:

2006-05-16T06:40:00.000-07:00

De Navian Collection

Mrs Rockerella la Collection

Good evening darlings,

An Angelina has just been launched today, do check it out and support me. (:

I woke up today, and felt really sick, so I didnt go to school today. (: I miss the times in primary school where everyone will get so concerned when you didnt show up in school for a day, it was really heartwarming. When you get back, people will make for you get well soon cards and all. (: Don't get me wrong, I'm not hinting anything here.

I spent the most of the day, coughing and swallowing horrible phlegm, doing up my website and started on my new collection, Mrs Rockerella La Collection. It's been so much fun.

Alright, I think I better go and have a nice warm bath and pray that I'ld be fine for my birthday. (: Pray for me too.

Sweet dreams till sun beams find you all.

2006-05-15T06:13:00.000-07:00

Good evening beautiful (:

Today marks the first day of normal school life after the 'hell weeks' (: I've seen such a great improvement in the class. Such as, listening attentively when others have to speak and I can see they're putting in effort. Seriously, I was really touched by that fact and I believe this is only the beginning and our class will soon prove that we were " born and nurtured to be heroes".

I talked to a special someone yesterday, Kelvin, and we really had a great conversation and I'm glad we did. He really inspires me alot, and unknowingly, he gives me the strength and courage to believe in what i do. (:

Anyway, i'm not going to be silly and childish is announcing to the whole world that MY BIRTHDAY WILL BE IN THREE DAYS (: I'm still planning for the party and it's really pressuring to a certain extent, but i look at it as a challenge, bring it on. (:

A certain someone told me that, two people can look at a same thing but look at it differently.

2006-05-12T23:45:00.000-07:00

Good evening lovely. (:

Today, goosie and me went to sentosa. (: We had lotsa heart-to-heart sharing, truths', secret admirers, ardent invaders and what's not, what's not. (: Thanks to mr Golden Sun, we had really nice tans. I really had a lot of fun with her there, and am glad we both know that we will be there for each other. We then later head to tampines to watch mission : impossible 3 , it was a really hot show, with all the coolest stunts and actions, i rate it 4 out of 5 popcorns! (:

I'm just really nervous and excited about my launch of 'an angelina'. I'm working out the materials, trying to finalise how ribbons are supposed to be secured after being entwined through chains. I did this beautiful charm bracelet yesterday, it turned out that sewing just couldnt work and could not last long enough. So, i'm going to undo the whole thing and try a new method. I can do it, yes i can. (: Thanks for all the support all of you have given me, you've been my source of inspiration. It seems that even for handmade goods, there's still branding. Therefore, Today's business tip of the day : Reputation. Yes, one word, believe me, it goes further than anything.

It's a vicious game, a vicious cycle. No one is exempted, no one is safe from its clutches.
Where the more steps you take, the deeper you go.
Where the mind tells you no, your heart tells you not to lie.
Where the heart aches, the mouth speaks of only self-comfort.
Whether thee chooses a path, a path is set before thee.
Take the first step,

coward.

Good night lovely. *winks.

2006-05-11T04:07:00.000-07:00

Hey there pretty/handsome (:

I've a huge smile plastered on my face right now. No prizes for guessing, MY EXAMS ARE OVER. (: And since no one asked me out to celebrate this joyous occasion, kelvin and russell were there to spend this oh-so-happy day with me, and we had the greatest time ever. If you're really free, read on and share the laughters we had, enjoy..

I met Kelvin first outside small mac, and we talked about our little surprise we had for Russell while we anticipated his arrival and his surprise for us. Lo and Behold, he came with a stubble, a nucleated stubby stubble. (: That was his surprise, haha, and he was so insecured over it! Actually, i thought it looked quite good, it's just that i was not used to the sight of Russell having a goatee. Anyway, he was so anxious about the surprise, wait till he finds out. (:

So we decided on Billy Bombers after eliminating Soup restaurant and jack's place, and upon reaching century square, the escalators were switched off. Our stridding begun, losing calories before our big feast. We started our talk when we were happily seated, consisting of Betty, my dear unproportionally obese bunny plush whom i love with all my heart, the service there (:, and Rusty, Russell's thin but not-so-thin penguin plush, Kelvin's never-ending list of holidays (damn that got me jealous), the fact that my exams are over (x10,000000). Russell ate a rotijohn-looking thing, Kelvin, chicken if was not wrong and i had seafood pasta. (: They had lovely milkshakes, that reminds me, Russell was interested in working at New Zealand Natural so he can 'kop' the icecream there, so i was making fun of him that his stubble might fall into the icecream. Vanilla into cookies and cream, mint into chocolate chip mint. (: haha, me and my vast imagination. Oh well, we had a blast chatting about everything and then we played truth or dare with a book Russell bought from australia, (: it was so funny. I asked him to choose a number, he chose 7, and i picked dare for him (obviously) and HAHAHA, his dare was to pretend to be a lost puppy and to convice Kelvin to bring him home. And he really whimpered, with that look on his face, together with his stubble, it was hysterical. (: If only we caught that on tape, man, never mind, it'ld take pretty long for us to forget that scenario. haha, and it was Kelvin's turn, he picked 18 (our favourite numbers, because our birthday dates are on the 18th! (:), and i picked dare once more, but it was boring so i picked another one, and he had to be a robot and pretend to have a short circuit, and he supposedly promised us that he'ld do it infront of the ticketing counter later on. And finally (drum rolls please...) it was time.

I made my way out of Billy Bombers to the toilet, and suddenly Kelvin came to me from the back initiating our surprise, so after the trip to the toilet, i called Russell, told him that we were going down and will meet him at starbucks for coffee. Then he used that voice (it was so so so funny), saying 'ehh, but havent pay yet', and i said, okay, we'ld meet you downstairs. Kelvin and I couldnt stop laughing. It was a real fight between our angels and devils leading us on i tell you. i was like, i felt so bad. What if he didnt have enough money? Kelvin said he would have, and he was so amused with the fact that Russell had to carry my bag down. (: Anyway, after going in to the service lift, we were laughing and talking and then Russell called, finally, and said he had no cash, and we burst out laughing again and said we'ld go up. In the midst, a worker with a huge dusty bin (the really big ones) came in, and we burst out laughing again, and he stepped on my foot again for the 18197598359625th time. (: hahahaha. Anyway, when we went up, Russell had that 'cant believe it' face and he told us that he thought we paid for it, haha, the irony! It was a great surprise, and oh no, Kelvin's going to be the next victim . HEH!

We decided on watching poseidon after using the elmination method and since it was starting in 4 minutes. (: Man i blew cash today. He didnt do the dare after all, such a spoiler! (: I'ld make him do that one day, i promise, hahaha. So we went in, and we all decided, we all had to watch XmenIII and all the other movies. Haha, i'm down for Da vinci Code, and Russell better not back out! (: Russell offered Bah kwa, hahaha, and kelvin and russell consumed the bah kwa with the exception of me. I wonder where did they stick it to, haha. The movie was not too bad actually. It was kind of an armaggedeon meets titanic movie. It was rather predictable, but we had fun bettting on who'ld die next. (: hahaha, i lost, old man didnt die after all. We were pretty much soaked off after the movie, but i was still so happy my exams were over. Actually, not too much, i mean, for a few moments, i felt like i was slacking and i was guilty, can you believe it?

Following that, we accompanied Kelvin to shop for deborah's birthday present. (: Deborah was the exact same girl i was last time, pink and all. Fascinating how people change so drastically. We also went to toysr'us to find a costume/masks for Kelvin because Deborah's birthday party's theme is 'i dont want to grow old' and he had to dress up as a non-human-out-of-a-children-story-book-cartoon-character. haha, he contemplated on the darth vader mask, in the end, decided to not participate in fufilling the theme, aww man. So our day kind of ended there, and Russell had to walk back home to have tuition, while Kelvin and I walked towards the mrt interchange together. (: I saw Aisyah and Safirah on the way, looking gorgeous as usual.

Kelvin, Russell, thanks for today, it meant so much to me, much more than you think it was. And thanks for all the smiles, laughters, bahkwas, dares and the happy memories, thanks for being there for me on my happiest day in these few weeks. (: Let's do go out once more and many many more times alright? (: We can continue surprising each other, haha, and Russell, bring the truth or dare book! (: heh, next is my turn alright? Okay, before this gets too mushy, i'ld end the day's events with my phrase of the day, EXAMS ARE OVER, SO HAPPY! *claps. (please imagine a very very happy looking Angel clapping her hands like a small little kid with eyes filled with jubilation, yeah, that's it. )

Okay, sorry for that intricately described happy day of mine, albeit like a granny story. (: Here's what i really really have to say., and whatever is going within me right now.

On school issues, i've read my friends' blogs, amongst them are cornee, naz, the rest. Cornee is one that i loved most, you know why? It was the blatant truth, like a tight slap on the cheek, waking you up to reality. His post was not about inspiring or giving encouragement, it was about the truth, and this is why, he still remains as one of the friends i admire the most.

Inspiring quotes like mine and the rest, oh yes, they're good to hear, nice to see, but they can only help so much. From the start of the year, I've tried as much as i can to help in everyway i can, to be there and reach out for everyone. It was Russell who woke me up and told me that in life, you cant reach out to everyone, but to that few you do, it's all worth it. And yes, i'ld continue giving you all all the help and inspiration, support you need, only if you let me. It's going to be a two-way thing. The mid-years were a good wake up call for me, was it for you? I hope so, and cornelius and I have already planned some studying dates during the hols, we'ld make sure everyone gets into study groups and start studying not later, but now. How long are you going to wait? Don't give yourself excuses, you're only being a fool. If you find it hard to discipline yourself, seek help, we'ld always be here. Actually, i'm not too sure what i'm typing or what my intended outcome or message is, it's just that, i felt this was necessary. Regarding the clique issue, cliques are alright, to a certain extent. It depends who makes up the clique really and whether the clique is successful in acheiving what they want together. Talking about cliques, i do not fancy cliques much, maybe it's because i dont belong in one, not anymore. If you do realise, i'm pretty much alone these days, and I know it. It's not that i refuse to talk to anyone, or i'm being anti social, it's just that when i dont reach out, i'm left alone. When I dont go to people, I'm left alone, when i dont laugh and joke around, I'm left alone. As I've told pretty much people already, on the surface, I'm your average insane sunshine girl who's surrounded by tons of friends. I've asked myself, am i that fortunate? Indeed, i've tons of friends, but who are the real ones, who are the fair-weather ones, I, for once, am not sure and do not wish to judge. Ask yourself, are you just being a friend for image, to look like you're popular, to feel wanted, just for the sake of company, because you're afraid to be alone? If you are, then i tell you, you're a hypocrite. Don't try to be friends because of this and of that, at the end of the day, you'ld end up with none. Friends are there for each other, through thick and through thin, are the source of light when there is darkness. Please don't even have the guts to say you're a friend if you're not even bothered if your friend was in need, it'ld only shun off people. I may not be the perfect friend, but i can confidently say i am a friend. It's just that this exam period has opened my eyes to certain issues i was so conservative about. This is just me, i'ld rather have no friends then be filled with fair-weather friends. So, i'ld just brush off whatever made me slightly unhappy today, it was measely and i do not want to sulk over it anyway. To whoever who feels offended after reading this, I'm sorry but this is only my opinions, if you beg to differ, you have your freedom to do so. To my friends, this is to you, I love you.

Sorry for the granny tale. (: The end.

2006-05-10T21:57:00.000-07:00

Good late evening readers, (:

In preparation for my last two papers for tomorrow, i've skimmed through my geog texts one last through and dug my ears for my listening compre (: heh, *CHEERS. I told myself, together with all the people i love around me, that i'ld pull through, and i did, that's not fascinating, you know what is? I'm actually still alive and kicking. The surprises of life, and those thick stack of papers they wasted for exams. Do pardon me, but i am a geography student after all, that means i've a close connection with human nature, including trees. (: You know what? I think they should have like, online exams done in the hall. (: Brilliant, saves trees and since i've been blessed with IT experts as friends, heh. *evil smile.

Second joy of the evening, Russell and Kelvin and I will be hanging out tomorrow afternoon as a celebration of the end of my hell weeks. (: That means alot to me, and i'm really grateful to have them as my friends, or rather like my older brothers, to be there for me when i need someone. (: Love you two, alot. (: And we're going to have SUCH GREAT FUN TOMORROWWWWW!

THIRD JOY, my childhood friend, or rather my BIGBROTHER (: just informed me he led his softball team to victory against RJC!! (: *claps victoriously I'm really proud of him. He's a great achiever, i've known him to be a really nice guy, he's been my source of inspiration and strength, in terms of academics and the rest of my life. (: He knows me inside out, really blessed to have him.

FOURTH ISSUE, notice how it's an issue and not a joy. (: I'm pretty neutral or worried about it. After 3 months of freedom and time, Ms kee has called to inform post-natal period is over and piano lessons are back into my life. Happy, because i get to see Innoncent Ian and inculcate anti-piano thoughts in his mind, and Sadto a certain extent, because oh well, it's piano lessons. (:

FIFTH JOY, DADDY IS COMING HOME!!!! (: I've missed him so much, and i cant wait to hug him again. I love him more than he thinks i does.

Finally, i hope that fournuture will really come together as one again. This time, no cliques, no segregation, no three's no four's, it's fortythree's walking as one. I dont like what's happening to us, my lovely group of friends whom i consider my confidantes, the words we've exchanged are countable during this period, and i really hope we can stick together as one and excel together not as an individual. Because, united we stand, divided we fall. Four nurture, we arent the perfect class in the eyes of teachers, that only gives us more reasons to prove them wrong. We'ld photocopy all forty three result slips with distinctions and watch them gasp for air. As your class manager, as your friend, believe in yourself, because i havent stop believing in each and everyone of you and remember, my hp is switched on every minute of the day to let you know, i'ld always be there. It's tough but know that you're not alone. (: WE ~~can~~will make a difference, WE ~~can~~will be a legacy.

2006-05-10T17:04:00.000-07:00

Hey readers (:

For the first time in my history, i've actually managed to piece my new blog together. (: This is so far, my 1095039580329465262th blog. It is actually very amusing to think about the evolvement of my blogskins. Anyway, as i'm so particular on English and well, being organised, this will be a very organised blog. (: I just need a place to organise my thoughts, feelings, actions, days with words, if not, i reckon i'ld just be blown away by the complication of my life.

Firstly, the origin of the name, An Angelina, it's not just any stupid, fancy blog title that's meant to give an illusion to someone. My name's Angelina, (i love it, by the way.) and an angelina was what jovi, my not so little godsis, inspired me to come up with as my new online shop name (look out for it!) . Initially, i came up with QueenOfBling, but she said it was so unoriginal, and then it struck me. In life, we often come up with faces, masks, so as to portray a side of us, or to allow other people to view as in the way we want. I realised that the best way to live your life on this Earth, was just to be yourself, being true to yourself. And thus, i came up with An Angelina, because, it's really just me, and you'ld never see a truer side of me, of Angelina. It is once again, synical to see people write up nice stuff in their blogs, knowing that there are alot of people viewing their blogs, and thus, find a need, to phrase every sentence in a manner that seems to be coated with honey in an effort to lick peoples' boots, and then there are the other blogs which seems like a fairytale, or a neverending tragedy story. oh well, i'm not here to judge, as i said, it just seemed synical, because it's not them, and they call it their blogs.

Secondly, the skin. Thanks to shikin! (: this is a really pretty skin, with the lovely lady and turquoise background and the little gold details. It's really classic, and i'm loving it. I know, it may seem un-me, but you'ld be surprise to know that, it's really me.

Thirdly, before i allow you to form a very egoistic image of me that i'm all about me, no, this blog is here because of the people i love surrounding me that pieces up the moments of my days, my life and this is my memoribillia, or what Russell likes to call his, a 'memory lane' (:

I've warned you about this blog being very organised and precise in its use of language, so dont cringe any second. (: I think i had better scoot up now to get some Geography into my head, now now, i would not want to mess up my last 'need-to-use-my-brain' paper right? ( fyi : last paper = chinese listening, thus. ) (: